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Wondering where the lions are for sale

Nov 26, 2013
2 min read

Prince once sang, “Maybe you’re just like my mother/she’s never satisfied.” Well, Prince is a jerk, bringing his mother into it like that. Shame on you, Prince! After all the years she spent changing your purple diapers and telling you you look so handsome with that wispy mustache and never mind that the bigger boys keep stuffing you into the teeny-tiniest of lockers.

But there is no denying that we tend to be dissatisfied in life and that “Purple Rain” is a mind-blowingly good song.

Last week, I wrote a piece that bemoaned my lack of accomplishments on the verge of turning 48. While the piece was tongue-in-cheek, some of you called me out on it, telling me — and I’m paraphrasing here — “Don’t be such a Prince.”

Indeed, I have plenty reasons to be satisfied (which is not the same as being complacent). I have great kids in good health. One sings in a choir, one has her first boyfriend, three play basketball, one texted me yesterday (he never texts me) that he got a 96% on his criminology quiz, one was Student of the Day in Grade 7 History class last week.

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My Dad, who has been quite ill, got out of the hospital this week. Indigo Books (which, for you non-Canucks, is like a Canadian Barnes & Noble ) will be carrying my book in its Montreal-area stores. My wife made me cookies.

And then there’s this:

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I’m in there. My piece. Page 163. Three hard-cover copies of the new McSweeney’s book showed up at my door last week. I went “WOOO!” when I opened the box. This is what it sounds like when Ross WOOOs. I’m sharing a table of contents with Mike Sacks, Teddy Wayne, Dan Kennedy, Jesse freakin’ Eisenberg…

Life could always be better, sure, and Prince could always be taller. All in all, though, they’re both pretty damn sweet.

So here’s a piece that aired this week on CBC Radio “Breakaway” about how we tend to believe that life would be perfect if only we had the right lawn ornaments. Click on the link above or the handy Grooveshark widget below.

And thanks, everyone, for hanging out here and making it all worthwhile. Ain’t no particular blogger I’m more compatible with; I just want your extra time and your [DEEDLE-DEEDLE-DEEDLE-DEEDLE-DEE] clicks.

P.S. “Publi-Sac” is the plastic bag flyers are delivered in here in Quebec. Lessoned!

 
 
 

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