What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?

When I was just 6 years old I figured out the sure-fire way to steal a show. At least at Halloween. Every year at my childhood school there was not just a class Halloween party, but a school-wide Halloween party. And part of that event was a “best costume” contest. I LOVED dreaming up costume ideas AND I equally loved winning contests like this. Now I’m not sure why I was so certain about my idea at such a young age, but I just knew that if I dressed up like a girl I would steal the show and win best costume.

The day came. I wore my sister’s dress. A wig my mom had in the house (and no, she didn’t wear one), panty hose, bracelet, necklace, even pumps. And I won. The next year I didn’t think I’d be able to pull it off again, so I chose another idea. I didn’t win. So guess what I did the following year. That’s right. Dressed up like a girl. And won again.

Grade 4 was the most interesting. It was our class’s turn to be judged, so we stood up and got ready to parade in front of our teachers, who were the judges. My friend Todd whispered to me, “I got this one. I’m beating you!” He was dressed as Superman, and I have to say it was a great costume. It even had built in muscles. That’s common now, but it wasn’t back then. I just said, “We’ll see.” It was great to look at his face as I was proclaimed the winner for the third time in four years by teachers who laughed like it was their first time seeing such a thing.

In college I worked for a summer camp in between academic years. The director that year asked me to co-direct Horsemanship Camp with her. Part of the camp’s programming included a variety show and she wanted a good idea to really get the kids’ to

react. I’m not sure who came up with the idea, but—you guessed it—I dressed in drag yet again. At Christian camps there are always rallies, and at those rallies there are always kids cheering and screaming for anything and everything. But I hadn’t heard any sound all summer long like the uproarious reaction to my walking onto the stage after being introduced as “Troyeena.”

Having said all that, don’t expect any more antics like this out of me. That was my last time dressing as the opposite gender and I intend to keep it that way. No screaming crowd or chocolate bar best costume prize is going to lure me to repeat. But I have to say, stealing the show sure is fun.

Congratulations . This is your week.

Best Actress:

Of course it is Marilyn Monroe. There was, and is, no one like her. My brother said he had a thing for her, and I must say, so do I. Well… actually there are two kinds of men: those who have a thing for Marilyn and those who lie about it. is a movie with lots of stars, but Monroe does what she does best: steals the show. As Roger Ebert said, “What a work of art and nature is Marilyn Monroe.”

Best Actor: Charlton Heston. Ironically I’ve always found his acting a little wooden, but his roles in this movie and in  are unmistakably memorable, even legendary.

Best Quote: “One God, that I can understand; but one wife? That is not civilized!” — Sheik Ilderim in Ben-Hur.

The funny thing is that Marilyn was not the most favourite person on the set of In fact, she wasn’t invited to the wrap party. Even though she stole the show she was hated by the rest of the cast and crew for routinely showing up hours late each day during filming, requiring over 40 (even 50!) takes for short scenes with simple lines, and sometimes would refuse to come out of her dressing room. But we still love her, don’t we?

10. Val Kilmer in

Tombstone

9. Anna Kendrick in

8. Randy Quaid in

7. Melissa McCarthy in

6. Chloe Grace Moretz in

5. Jack Black in

4. Dustin Hoffman in

3. Marisa Tomei in

2. Heath Ledger in The

1. Christian Bale in The Fighter

[Honourable mention: Randy Savage vs Ricky Steamboat at Wrestlemania III]