We All Failed Lexi

This past week the province of New Brunswick was delivered the crushing news that a young, beautiful, and promising high school student had taken her own life. Not only that—to make a long story short—she reached out for help but didn’t get it. She went to her school counselor who took her to the hospital, and after an 8 hour wait there she was told the mental health professional would take another 2 hours before getting there. They suggested she leave and come back. She was even asked, “Are you really going to make us call them?” She left with a referral, but days later she ended her 16 year old life.

Her parents said that the health system failed her. They did. However, I believe it’s more than that. All of us failed Lexi. How many of us would have made the same mistake as the hospital staff did? It is our collective lack of understanding that leaves room for something like this to happen.

We don’t seem to have a firm grasp on the far-reaching nature of this and other societal problems. We may acknowledge the issue, but fail to take it seriously enough to do something about it. We are too slow to actively learn more about what we can do to help. We instead choose to believe that we could not possibly be even a small part of the problem. I think by now, most of us acknowledge depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues as dangerous. But we continue to act as if they’re not.

And we are much more likely to dismiss someone’s illness if it is mental than we would for, say, stomach or chest issues. And no, it’s not easier to fake a mental disorder. We like to believe that as a way of dealing with our own frustration with the situation. Can you imagine talking with some friends about how your uncle has been out of work for  6 months because he threw his back out and someone deems it necessary to interject, “Well, there are people do fake back injury.” Why would that need to be brought up? What could that possibly help?

When you hear someone is struggling, treat it just as you would if it was diabetes or cancer. It’s a killer and should be treated as such. Those who fake it will get found out, just as they would with other sicknesses.

According to those who knew Lexi, she was the last person anyone would have imagined this would happen to. Every picture taken of her looked like that of a happy and well rounded kid. Reader, this can happen to anyone.

If this happens to you, you’re not alone. You’re not weak. You’re human. If you’re worried that you’re faking, that means you’re absolutely not. Fakers know that they’re faking. There’s no shame in seeking help.

And if it happens to someone you know, offer to help. Ask if you can give them a hug, a coffee, or anything at all. If they say no thanks to any, tell them that’s ok. And most importantly, don’t let this wee write-up be the only thing you read about mental health awareness.

Congratulations 10 Cloverfield Lane. This is your week.

And the Oscar goes to…

Best Actress:

Bérénice Bejo as Peppy Miller in The Artist

Best Actor: Other than John Goodman (who is so freaking great), Jeff Bridges as The Dude in The Big Lebowski.

Best Quote: Well, The Big Lebowski has way too many great quotes to pick from, and The Artist, as good of a movie as it is, doesn’t have any. So here’s one from our movie of the week (a movie I just loved, one of my top favourites of 2016): “Y.O.L.O… I don’t even know what that means, but everybody says it, so it’s gotta be cool, right?” — John Gallagher Jr. as Emmett in 10 Cloverfield Lane.

I also got word this past week that a young woman who works at a dealership I do a lot of work for, a woman who I also did private work for, took her own life around the same time as Lexi did, also a sufferer of depression. This post is dedicated to her memory.