Unwittingly killing old people?

“Senior citizens, though slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.” — Lloyd Christmas,

I’m afraid that we are killing our senior citizens. Do you think so? Are we not killing their value more and more in today’s western culture? Now from the beginning I should establish that I am not against retirement homes. This is not a write-up saying we should be ashamed of them. I’m not. My only living grandparent lives in one and it’s wonderful. A wonderful facility, wonderful workers and wonderful care. It’s the lack of visitation they get from the rest of us that I fear is killing them. Not necessarily in the physical sense, but as I’ve said, in the sense of their value.

Throughout most of the world in most eras of history the elderly were the most revered people in a tribe or community. They had the wisdom, experience, and greatest of all, stories. The picture of a grandfather/grandmother sitting and telling a group of children stories—fables, true

tales, highly embellished true tales—is something we can all recognize, but we see it with our own eyes less and less. I’m having trouble as I type thinking of the last time I saw this happening in person.

I’ve had more than one family member suffer from dementia in their old age. When they go through it the rest of us go through hearing them say the same things over and over again. My grandmother-in-law used to reminisce continually about having a group of kids she gathered together and taught to sing. She said that they were on the radio and the radio DJ called them, “Doris and Her Pals.” It’s a sweet story, though I admit I would sometimes think to myself that ever popular inner-voice phrase: “Here we go again…” But now, when I think of our now deceased Nannie Whitehouse, I wish I had been more patient in my mind when she would start one of these repeated anecdotes. Maybe I should have simply asked more questions. How many kids were in that group Nannie? What were their names? What was your favourite song that they sang? I realize that she would somehow bring it all back around to those same repeated words she kept returning to, but I do regret not listening more.

Grammie Carruthers

This is where I believe we are killing our aged living legends. Our facilities are great, but we are, perhaps unconsciously, content with the retirement home’s janitor seeing them more than we do. They have so much to offer us. And please realize I am preaching to myself here. I love my grandmother more than I can express yet I don’t see her often. And when my children see someone who has grown old to the point of frailty, they seem to have a more alien experience than I am comfortable with.

Now about Morgan Freeman… I love this actor. Really, who doesn’t? He’s the perfect example of a storyteller. For starters, he has that calm, soothing voice that you feel you can trust, no matter what he says. He could break just about any bad news to you and because it is him and that voice of his, you’ll know that everything is going to be ok. Plus, he’s an actor who can accomplish a very important task: putting the story before himself. When I watch his movies I don’t tend to see him as Morgan Freeman in a role. He manages to blend his part in and you see him not as Morgan Freeman but as the character he is incarnating. The story comes first. I’ve always liked that in a preacher too. One who makes the sermon about themselves and adds a verse or two leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. The ones who put the text first and add themselves to it are much more exemplary in my opinion. Freeman also has the ability to make any story an awesome one and any co-actor/actress he works with look better than they are.

And he is 77 years old.

Someday soon, he’s going to reach an age when someone is going to have to take care of him. The elderly of the 21st Century are usually two things to us: 1) Funny. They are out of touch, they dress funny, they talk funny, are hard of hearing, and laughably forgetful. 2) A burden. They drive too slow on the highway, they walk to slow on the sidewalk, they take too long paying at the cashier’s counter and they are too grumpy. Though I feel this way at times when I’m in public, I hate hate HATE the idea of anyone thinking that of my own grandmother. I also hate the idea of Morgan Freeman becoming frail and being treated like a joke or a burden. But like so many of his peers he is humble (waves off the idea of being one of today’s greatest living actors and insists he’s “lucky”), comforting, bold with truth, and filled with great stories. He’s been there. The aged all have. And we need them more than we realize.

Congratulations Se7en and Morgan Freeman. This is your week.

Best Actress:

Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched in . She successfully made audiences hate her, making this movie that much greater.

Best Actor: Aside from Freeman, this week’s best actor is Daniel Day-Lewis in . Most of you voted for Freeman, and I’m so sorry that you were wrong. DDL is the greatest actor of all time. Period. No, exclamation mark! Fun fact: Dr. Evil’s father made outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. True story.

Best Quote: “Ernest Hemingway once wrote, ‘The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.” Morgan Freeman as Somerset in

It is not my desire to cheapen the elderly as decrepit and poor. But to embolden our own spirits to value the heroes and legends that they are within. Freeman and my grandmother are great examples.