Two Sets of Moseses

STORY 1

In 2013 Joy and I saw Michelangelo’s Moses in the San Pietro Church in Rome. I’d forgotten what the sculpture looked like and was surprised to see he had horns on top of his head. It was like seeing a statue of Winston Churchill wearing a swastika armband. Thankfully our tour guide explained to us the story: a simple case of mistranslation.

When the Old Testament was transcribed into Latin, the scholars came to the passage where Moses descended from Mount Sinai talking to God and his face was “cornuta.” The simplest translation was the word “horned.” Made sense to them really. If you’re going to have a fireside chat with God it’s most likely going to leave quite the impression. In this case, he simply mutated. I’m sure any of us would have done the same, though I’m scared to think what I would’ve ended up with. Probably something more embarrassing like gigantic sideburns or a third nipple.

But those translators simply couldn’t see past their own language. They were a lot like European explorers in the 15th and 16th Centuries. An indigenous chief invites Jacques Cartier to the village where he lives, with the word “village” spoken in Iroquois as kanata. “Say no more,” states the explorer with confidence. “I read ya. The name of this place is ‘Canada.’” Turns to his posse, “Hey guys, we’re in Canada!”

So, it turned out the word “cornuta” had a couple of possible senses. Just like in English where “bank” could mean a building where you keep your cash or a mound of snow, this word could be translated both as “horned” or “shining.” Now, surely it makes more sense that Moses would have a shining face after meeting God, but them Latin scribes were probably pretty smart fellers. At least Michelangelo thought so.

STORY 2

There are a lot of great tales from the making of 1956’s The Ten Commandments, the most successful biblical epic of all time with two iconic roles played out: Charlton Heston as Moses and Yul Brynner as Ramses. But my favourite story has to do with two extras whose names I don’t believe have ever been identified (Understandably, since the movie used 14,000 of them as well as 15,000 animals. Keeping names straight was

likely not easy.). Anyway, Cecil B. DeMille was known for giving very long-winded speeches through his megaphone when giving direction. Prior to filming the golden calf scene he was in the middle of one of these tedious disquisitions when he noticed two extras talking to each other, ignoring him. This annoyed the veteran director causing him to stop and give what most of us received from our seventh-grade teachers who deserved more respect than we were giving them. According to the IMDb TTC trivia page it went something like this:

“We have a young woman whose conversation with her friend is apparently more important than listening to her instructions from her director while we are all engaged in making motion picture history. Perhaps the young woman would care to enlighten us all, and tell us what the devil is so important that it cannot wait until after we make this shot.” After an awkward, pregnant pause, the young woman spoke up and boldly confessed, “I was just saying to my friend here, ‘I wonder when that bald-headed old fart is gonna call ‘Lunch!'” DeMille stared at the woman for a moment, paused, then lifted his megaphone and shouted, “Lunch!”

Congratulations The Ten Commandments. This is your week.

And the Oscar goes to…

Best Actress:

Chloë Grace Moretz as Isabelle in Hugo. The kids in this film were so adorable!

Best Actor:Yul Brynner as Ramses in The Ten Commandments. Btw, when he found out he would play this role with a bare chest in most scenes, he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t get overshadowed by Heston. He dieted and exercised diligently, which is the main reason he looks more buff than usual in The King and I (1956), the next movie he starred in.

Best Quote: “That’ll do pig.” — James Cromwell as farmer Hoggett in Babe.

My halfhearted apologies to Jacques Cartier as he wasn’t the first nor the only distinguished gentlemen to sail ignorance-first across the Atlantic and culturally throw up all over the carpet and point out how beautiful he made it look.