Tolerating The Intolerable.

Family gatherings are always awkward. In most instances they’re compulsory, which only further exacerbates the discomfort I endure. The solace of my mother’s cooking and genuine adoration for my family is what makes these congregations a tolerable affair. The problem comes from the one’s you’ve inherited through long term companionship. You’re familiar enough to engage in light, courteous dialogue. But not comfortable enough to express yourself without inhibiting filtration. It’s a necessary burden to maintain equanimity between yourself and your much more gregarious partner. But it does necessitate indulging in the distorted appraisals of those with a selective persuasion about the ethnicity, genealogy and sexuality that is representative of today’s society.

Engaging in direct discourse that conflicts with their own skewed perceptions of say, “immigration” for instance, is a futile endeavour. It’s also sparked by some tenuous associations, that they can retroactively assign to their own bigoted agenda. Whether it’s rising unemployment, the escalating cost of living or the reduced size of Mars bars, almost anything can be attributed to those pesky foreigners. They see it as a dilution of their national heritage. The deprivation of our sovereignty. It’s of little consequence if you are born in this country though. If you’re complexion isn’t one of perpetual pale transparency, then you are deemed an invader by default.

All the world’s sins can be attributed to those “foreigners”. Lamenting the demise of the English language, despite their own negligible understanding of it, slurring more obscenities as they sip from their bottle of imported lager. The type of person that refuses to eat anything that isn’t quintessentially British. Like chips (Portuguese/Spanish origins) or Tea (Chinese). This kind of subversive “casual” xenophobia, is only expressed in the abiding safety of a family setting. Knowing that these polarising views can be expressed without recrimination. Which is a deeply unsettling to know that they feel emboldened enough to confide in you, as though these discriminatory perceptions are reciprocated. All you can do is grimace and nod in a non committing fashion.

Nobody wants to be the errant agitator in such a relaxed, family orientated environment. Especially if you are the proverbial emigrant in the group. All it achieves would be to alienate yourself from people looking to enjoy a relaxed Easter weekend. Besides, challenging them on their flagrant, incendiary grasp of immigration policies, is like trying to describe colour’s to a blind man. Bigotry is not something easily reasoned with. But nor is it something that we should be complicit with. I’m a very tolerant person, scarcely offended. And though I’m not aggrieved by such repugnant attitudes, I do feel piteous of those that nurture it.

But what do you think? How do you tolerate discrimination? Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.