The Top Ten Signs That You’re Sleazy

I refuse to admit that I’m sleazy. I prefer to describe myself as “open-minded” to life’s many “pleasures”.  But some actions, statements, etc., are across-the-board sleazy, I guess, and these are some of them.  I’d like to think I dabble more on the grayer side of the spectrum.

May 14, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That You’re Sleazy – Sent in by: Astroboy

1. No name – My sister was in high school when her male P.E. teacher tucked in her P.E. uniform in front of the class. Our dad had the teacher fired.

2. Rvincent – A friend worked in Dubai and he doesn’t have facial hair. One time in a market, an Arab rubbed his “stick” on my friend’s butt twice. The Arab thought he was gay because he didn’t have a beard.

3. Perfect – We have an officemate, everytime he’s talking to a pretty girl, he keeps his hand in his pocket, and before long, you can see his hand moving inside his pocket.

4. Kym – On the bus, I thought this guy had his umbrella handle sticking out from between his legs…until I saw the curly hair at the base.  I stood up and hit him with my bag.

5. Fedex – While riding at the back of a cab in traffic, the car next to us was pointing to my driver. That’s when I realized he was playing with himself!

6. No name – If you bluetooth porn videos to complete strangers in public places.

7. Camilla Rosa – In an FX I felt something cold and hard on my lap. When I looked, it was a guys genitalia.

8. Angel Shadowsong – If you fantasize that sweaty stinky construction workers do the deed with you against your will.

9. Jesse – I caught my mom with a Kama Sutra hidden between DVD’s. Ewww!

10. Rvincent – If your “my videos” folder contains subfolders like: amateur, ebony, fetish, g2g, hentai, teen, and tranny.

11. Doctor Rotot – If you deliberately stopped your car in the middle of a very busy highway just so you can have a good view of Angel Locsin’s armpit.

12. Joeshred – If you always go commando then cut holes in your pants pockets.

13. Dixie Dynamite – If you meet up with a friend in Starbucks just to exchange porn in your laptops.

14. Rocksmith – My friend secretly takes photos of women’s feet in slippers with his cellphone because it’s his fetish.

15. Jaeda – If whenever you see a pregnant woman, you start imagining how she and her husband did it.

16. Rvincent – True Story: an officemate went to the office doctor complaining of dizziness. The doctor offered her a breast exam.

17. No name/McMaki – When you get turned on watching sex on Animal Planet.

18. Gracia – We know of a gay urologist who insists on a rectal exam even if the guy is just complaining of a sore throat.

19. Nish – A guy prof would always adjust our nametags pinned on our chests.

20. Gracia – Gay doctors always grab the butts of handsome male murse or security guards – KAINGGIT, este, KADIRI pala!

21. Mr. Perk – If you frequent salons because you get turned on everytime the assistants shampoo your hair.

22. RC & Cess – If you get turned on by naked mannequins.

23. Doraemon – If you borrow a friend’s phone then you secretly pasaload to your own cellphone.

24. No name – I’m sleazy because I wear my wife’s undies after she uses them.

25. Mr. Miser – If you have a complete collection of all the “scandal” DVD’s.

26. Jamie – If you get slightly turned on by the scantily clad taong grasa.

27. Bookworm – In an FX, when a guy pretends to scratch his knee, but he’s actually touching your bare leg.

28. Boknoi – Wife: “Hon, yung cellphone ko na tinago ko sa panty, nagva-vibrate!” Husband: “Ano tanggalin ko?” Wife: “Hindi! Kunin mo yung charger, lowbatt na eh!”