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The Top Ten Signs That A Loved One Is Secretly A Criminal
Many serial killers have families who have no idea they’re living with a cold-blooded murderer. To them, he’s the mild-mannered, loving, gentle son, husband, brother who couldn’t harm a fly. But in his secret life, he maims and murders and mauls with clinical soullessness. I’m sure you’ve seen many a mother crying: “Napakabait ng anak ko, walang kaaway yan!” Ask his victims…or at least their severed body parts…
September 24, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That A Loved One Is Secretly A Criminal – Sent in by Mars
Ang Manunusok – If, on your honeymoon, in the heat of making love, he whispers: “Wag kang sisigaw kung ayaw mong masaktan!”
XoVaine – If there’s a room in your house that no one’s allowed to go into.
Duckie – Our friend has a room in their house that is chained and padlocked. He never did answer our questions about what’s in that room.
Ang Manunusok – I f you find the strangest things while you’re eating her delicious meat pies — like rings, hair clip, fingernails, etc.
No name – He never sits with his back to a door or a window.
Loi Pogi – Everytime he withdraws from an ATM, he first wears gloves and a ski mask.
Loi Pogi – He has tons of bottles of Ativan, even if he doesn’t suffer from insomnia.
Randy Jackstone – You see your rich cousin’s badminton racket, and you ask: “Anong racket mo?” And he absentmindedly answers: “Smuggling.”
Kalsjr – If he never had a problem getting into the house even if he forgot his house keys.
Athrun – If, after all these years, your father has managed to avoid any questions about what he does for a living.
Manong Driver – (True story) – We’d find stuff everyone’s lost in my brother’s bedroom — under pillows, hidden in cabinets…
HijaMia – If you peek into your dad’s briefcase, and all you see are knives and cling wrap.
YñaKì – If lahat ng regalo ng boyfriend mo sa yo, putol na necklace at bracelet, at singsing na laging iba ang size, malamang snatcher ang BF mo.
No name – If the first thing he checks in a place is if there are surveillance cameras.
Ruelski – If you see complete strangers walk up to your dad in public and kiss his ring.
Young Indy – Everytime he brings you to his house, he has to blindfold you first, so you don’t know where the address is.
Rheanne – Whenever you’re in a restaurant or a bar or a club, the first thing he checks is where the nearest exit is.
Abernathy/Bobidaks – Tuwing magkukuwento ka sa asawa mo yungkol sa taong nakaaway mo, after a few days, matatagpuan na silang lumulutang sa ilog.
Maximo – Everytime you wait for him in the car, he insists that you keep the engine running, to NEVER turn the engine off..just in case he needs to getaway fast.
Gerard – If everytime bigayan ng baon, inaabot ng daddy mo yung pera sa ilalim ng mesa.
Kat – They buy so much stuff on a regular basis, but you’ve never seen a single receipt EVER.
Mondster – Kung ang tawag niya sa mga “barkada” niya: “Mga bata…”
Doraemon – Pag may mga sachets ng “tawas” na inaayos ng mga magulang mo na ayaw pahawakan sa iyo.
Reichen – If they consider CSI, Law & Order and Dexter as “feel-good comedy”.
Tetet – When I was young, I had an uncle who would regularly drive a car into his garage, and when he drove out later, iba na ang kulay nung car.
HR guy – My brother can’t explain how he was able to buy a million dollar house in California when he is just a humble public servant.
Joey – If everytime you ask your son the simple question: “Anak, saan ka galing?’ He answers: “Talk to my lawyer.”
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