The Top Ten Funny Gay Quotes

This was supposed to be funny gay quotes, meaning funny quotes from gay men AND women.  But somehow, most of the entries are quotes of gay men.  It feeds the stereotype of gay men being funny, and gay women always being dead serious.  I know, there are funny lesbians like Ellen De Generes and Rosie O’Donnell, but in general, the stereotype is of the butch ever-serious lezzie who can’t take a joke.  Sp we ended up with queen quotes mostly.

September 1, 2009 → The Top Ten Funny Gay Quotes – Sent in by: Astroboy

1. Loi Pogi – Host: “Of your body parts, which is your favorite?” Gay beauty contestant: “My neck. Because my neck holds my head, which will hold the crown later tonight. Thank you.”

2. Suzuna/Mojacko – Host: “What can you say about the women of tomorrow?” Gay beauty contestant: “The women of tomorrow…are the men of today!”

3. No name – Interview of LA Lopez by Boy Abunda: “Ako, Tito Boy, bading? Haller!”

4. KiD BuKid – During a Q&A portion, a gay contestant was asked what his motto was: “Ang lalaking nagigipit, sa bading kumakapit!”

5. YñaKì – A gay customer in a deli was angry when he found out that his salami was sliced by the crew, and said: “Anong akala mo sa puwet ko, alkansya?”

6. No name – Gay: “Paturo po ng badminton.” Coach: “Sige, hawakan mo ang raketa kung paano ka hahawak ng ari ng lalaki.” Gay: “Aaah…isusubo pala?”

7. Gracia – Gay friend: “Salot talaga kayong mga babae! Kakainin na lang namin, uupuan niyo pa!”

8. Loi Pogi/Smiling Pasta – From a Harvard prof: “I’d rather be black than gay, because when you’re black, you don’t have to tell your mother.”

9. NikChic/Yvaine – Gay Rule: “Biruin mo na ang lasing na bagong gising, wag lang ang bading na naagawan ng booking!”

10. HristPTRP – “Sa mga lalaking gipit, walang pangit na bakla kung kamukha nila sina NINOY AQUINO, VICENTE LIM, JOSE ABAD SANTOS at JOSEFA ILANES ESCODA!”

11. Renj – A kid started shouting at my gay friend: “Bakla! Bakla!” My friend answered: “Bakit, dine-deny ko ba?!?”

12. Boy Hugot – “Pag nagka-amnesia ang bakla, makakalimutan din ba niyang bading siya?”

13. Loi Pogi From the movie In & Out: “This is my Peter, my friend Peter! We just ran into each other at the intersexual…homosection…intersection!”

14. Dru – Jack McFarland: “There are no straight men. Only men who haven’t met me yet.”

15. Dru – Karen Walker: “Honey, you’re gayer than an a purse on Tony night.”

16. Oscar Dela Hopia – “Ako ang bumayo, pero bading ang sumubo.”

17. Loi Pogi – “Let’s get one thing straight…I’m not.”

18. Maldito – “The male organ is like gossip…it passes from mouth to mouth.”

19. Bobby Joe – “I’m mostly straight, I’m only gay in bed.”

20. Reichen – “I am a butterfly. A delicate, beautiful, brown butterfly.” – baklang ipis.

21. Father Marcus – Rico J. Puno: “Ano ang gusto mo sa babae?” Arnel Ignacio: “Yung hindi malikot ang ulo pag kinukulutan.”

22. Adam Lembot – “Every drop counts!”

23. Joshua Andre – Angel from Rent: “I am more man than you’ll ever be, and more woman than you’ll ever get.”

24. Cyber Mumu – Gay guy wearing a mini-skirt: “Di baleng makita ang legs, wag lang ang eggs.”

25. Jerguin22 – Johann Von Goethe: “If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.”

26. Jerguin22 – Dennis Rodman: “I don’t mind straight people, as long as they act gay in public.”

27. Angelo Dominic – “We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

28. Satine Pastel – Jack McFarlane: “We have to help the new gays, nurture them, make them beautiful. We have to gay it forward!”

29. Blitzkrieg – “If horse racing is the sport of kings, then drag racing must be the sport of queens.”

30. Kabalyero – We were at a chicken resto and I wanted to order chicken butt. So I asked my friend: “Kumakain ka ba ng puwet?” He answered: “Oo, basta ba mahal ko…”