The Thrill of Victory, the Agony of Defeat

If you’re old enough, you’ll recognize that quote. If you don’t, you’re young–open a different window, search, and come back. [Side note: The skier winds up okay and there’s a cool ESPN video biography of him out there on the net somewhere.]

I’ve been reflecting on some stuff lately–got me thinking…which is often a dangerous undertaking, I know.

Recently, I watched a volleyball match involving a team where the coach has said multiple times that “Sportsmanship is the highest priority with my team and what I teach athletes.” Fair enough–back that up and I’m going to be your biggest supporter even if you’re smacking my team around. Off-court lessons are bigger than anything happening inside VB’s 200 sq. meters.

Ahhh, but that’s not how it went. This coach’s team was the favorite to win–and that’s what happened, a 3-0 match never really close. At which point, they piled up since it was the postseason to celebrate. They left the other team waiting for handshakes at the net for 1 minute, 27 seconds.

I went looking for comparisons…because 87 seconds seemed a bit long to be considered sportsmanlike–because this wasn’t the first win like that in that program’s history.

2021 – Nebraska didn’t wait to shake hands with Wisconsin–but Wisconsin made no move to shake hands either. Nebraska left the court 48 seconds after match point. [Okay…I didn’t realize not shaking was a thing frankly.] 2019 – Stanford won and was shaking hands with Wisconsin 25 seconds after the final point was scored. 2015 – Loyola/Lewis were shaking hands 45 seconds after a 23-21 5th set final. My team after a 20-18 win at the other team in the postseason? 17 seconds. 1st trip to Nationals in school history? 18 seconds.

Anyways, when you win in the postseason, the other team is done. Even if you win a title–should you go wild first and force those losers to wait? Should the winning team show class and shake, etc, quickly–then celebrate? (Yes) Should the losers wait for the initial surge and still shake? (Yes)

There’s a different situation that I must remain vague on–if I identify the situation, it will pinpoint specific individuals–that’s not the point and I want to keep focused on the philosophy of sportsmanship.. What happens when you are the favorite and you lose? What if you are the underdog and you win?

When you are the favorite and lose to a team you beat previously–what message do you send when you refuse to do things you’ve done previously–whether that’s shake hands, have a brief chat with the other coach, whatever?

And the underdog–if you don’t usually talk more than the cursory ‘nice game’ during the handshakes, why are you suddenly gregarious and wanting a long conversation with the opposing coach?

Reflecting–I think there isn’t actually much difference between a ‘sore winner’ and ‘sore loser’. See why?

The issue then is–how do we get coaches to change? Is that possible? (Yes–it is possible because I’ve changed over time) It’s not an issue of being competitive–very few people become coaches without being competitive…in fact, I’d wager that in almost every gym, the most competitive person is a coach, not a player.