The Spirit (Frank Miller) 2008

I came into The Spirit with the lowest bar set as far as movie expectations.  I saw from early clips and from trailers it was Frank Miller tripping balls and somehow managing to look more crazy than an Alan Moore cover photo.  I was looking for an over the top ultra stylized noir much in the same way of Miller’s own Sin City.  I’m one of the few people that will actually give Miller credit for making All Star Batman and Robin a satire of just how dark and brooding the Batman series has become (a statement that will get me shunned from the comic book community quicker than liking One More Day).  The point is I was trying to give this movie every benefit of the doubt and it still ended up disappointing me.

I am not that big into the Spirit so I cannot make the argument it raped whatever original source material there was.  Well, I take that back.  I’m sure that whatever the source material was, it was absolutely nothing like what was ended up on the screen.  So yes, Miller rapes the source material but that is not why I hate it.  As I said before, the argument could at least be made for All Star Batman that it is a satire.  With the Spirit, I have no f*cking idea what Miller is doing?  He is not making a noir in the same way as Sin City, Miller is just freaking weird.  It almost feels like I’m watching an episode of Animaniacs (only without the funny) with such things as people getting hit with toilets (Toilets are always funny), Sam Jackson giving us three loud monologues on eggs, and a barrage of dopey clones called stupidly Ethos, Adios, Amigos, etc.

I suppose there could be the argument you can watch this movie simply as a “so bad its good” sort of thing and I would say Miller even failed at that.  I’m sure Miller thought he hit comedy gold when he made the dopey clones characters because we get so many fucking scenes with them and they are so patently unfunny.  It is like watching a movie in which Andy Dick does comic relief every five fucking minutes I swear it made me want to hurt someone!!!  There are also things which are just plain odd instead of funny.  Why does Sam Jackson wear a Nazi uniform?  Why does the Spirit have such power over women?  Why is there a French belly dancer with swords who kills people?  Why is Scarlett Johannsen not sexy in this movie?

Gabriel Macht is…alright as the Spirit.  I guess.  I mean, he is not really asked to do a whole lot and that is another complaint I have: The Spirit doesn’t really DO anything!  Seriously, for as much power as he has, he is surprisingly ineffectual.  Even after the climax I kept expecting something more from him.  Seriously!?  That’s it?  Its sad that I think the police actually have the crime issue covered and don’t need a superhero.  There really isn’t that much action and what action there is is unsatisfying.  So we have a movie that is not very exciting, not intentionally funny, and not even unintentionally funny.  Yup, this movie pretty much sucks hard.