The Real Fate of the Furious

Short-term spike in blood pressure

Tell-tale spittle droplets on conference room table

Uncomfortable silence from co-workers

Promise from supervisor in soothing voice to resolve problem

Feelings of satisfaction that situation will be remedied thanks to forceful rhetoric

Feelings of guilt for lack of self-control

Inability to focus on anything except whether co-workers noticed spittle

Failure by co-workers to make eye contact for indefinite period

Lunches alone at desk for indefinite period

Sense that reputation is now considered “difficult”

Sense that “difficult” is code for “asshole”

Failure to receive promotion

New nickname: Spitty McSpittleface