THE NORTHERN BOYS – Robot Man (2024)

The Northern Boys are, like Pete & Bas, part of Sindhuworld, an Instagram-famous London convenience shop that somehow sprouted a record label back in 2017. It’s “kind of like Ruff Ryders but with old guys,” Norm summarizes. Their account of how they hooked up with this scene is no less confounding.

Omelette du fromage

I’m an electro techno love dispenser Came from a Chinese tech inventor Me heart got crushed by the pain of love So now I replace that with a smoke detector

Make love for the lonely robot Penanical vaganical mechanical man I’ve got a whole lot of love to load but It’s locked inside like a jar of jam

What’s your username? I’ll save it to me database Come and kick it with the robot gang I wish I had a dick like a laser beam I’d fire at your motherboard, four terabytes of RAM

God-damn mechanical man Can you scan me nads until the printer jams? Image of me sack and it’s free to use If you just subscribe to me monthly plan

It’s been a very long time since Pat’s connected My robot pogo stick’s neglected I make one move, then I get rejected So now I gotta try from a different perspective

Robo cyborg super-sex Artificially intelligent computer tech Fuck my brain with your GPS, bitch I wanna get lost in your super web

Beam me up, Mr. Elon Musk Adopt me as one of your robot sons I promise that I’ll try me best You can feed me scraps and you can wipe me bum

Bluetooth button on me noggin when I wanna connect Put both arms in a USB See, it’s a little tricky when I’m off me head To operate things that I’ve never seen

You don’t love me as the man I am But would you love me as a robot man? You could never love me for me I had to let you go and then it set me free

You don’t love me as the man I am But would you love me as a robot man? You could never love me for me I had to let you go and then it set me free (now I’m free)

A beep-boop, a password, please You need permission if you wanna touch me Look, baby, I’m the flavour of the month Your loving is a cliff, I don’t wanna take a jump

I’m on me own like a coat in a cloakroom Boulder up the door, baby, leave me to me own doom Let me shrivel on me own like a dried prune Sweeping up the dust of your loving like an old broom

Steel liver, bitrate dither Message to me ex but it won’t deliver Fuck that bitch, kids, tell your mother That she can go and drown in a WAV file river

MPЗ-some with another digital lover Embedded in the digital covers Let’s get loose, I’ma widen your bandwidth Can you handle this, all my digital brothers?

Baby, plug your naked body in me mainframe Cyborg sex, you can call me my domain name Penis or vagina or the balls, it’s all the same thing Love me like a petal or just plough me like a freight train

You can do me like a brother in a porno Throw me at the walls, baby, fill me with your hormones Turn the whole bedroom to a war zone Shoot me with your load, get it right up in me borehole

Chuck me tiny guts up in a laptop case Stick a telephone extender to the side of me face You know they’re calling me the “DIGI widget lunatic” So here’s a message Mr. Gates, “I’ma take your place”

Microrock made by Microsoft I might microwave my tiny micro cock I wanna thrill, but it’s gotta be cyber Never had much luck with a human vagina

You don’t love me as the man I am But would you love me as a robot man? You could never love me for me I had to let you go and then it set me free

You don’t love me as the man I am But would you love me as a robot man? You could never love me for me I had to let you go and then it set me free (now I’m free)

Dance for me, robot Kevin (I’m free) Dance for me, robot Kevin (I’m free) Dance for me, robot Kevin (I’m free) Dance for me, robot Kevin (’cause I’m free)