THE NORTHERN BOYS – Nobody Likes Me

The Northern Boys, rapping retired U.K. teachers, have an infectious dance sound all their own.

Yeah it’s Patrick Karneigh Junior, Norman Pain and Kev

My wife’s got a bichon frise with a sex addiction And it’s hard to walk him in the park Every other dog we see Gets chased and pinned and fucked and licked in the ass My grandson’s smoking weed in his bedroom Texting girls photos of his cock Jesus, fuck If her dad comes ’round Then I’ll smash his car with a rock

Big old balls, they drag me down You’ll find me dancing ’round sexy town Red light district pedalling around And then I get mugged and my pants turn brown Bachelor pad covered in spaff Dorito crumbs all up in my bath Flaking skin on my head Sunburn flesh, let it shed

Wake up sunday, wife just punched me Said she’s hungry, gotta go cook Wifi’s broken so I gotta watch my porn In the form of comic books Brother, look Wank myself with a single finger, Captain Hook Then I go smoke my pipe with a random man In a dark and weary nook

Bought a transgender man two pints Can I get lucky and fist him tonight? Constrict my cock with a pink hair tie Not to tight, no, I don’t wanna die Used to have a dog, his name was Francis Then he ran away, what a selfish bastard Now I got a cat and his name is Patrick PKJ got jealous and attacked it

When I say hi, I get shut down When I’m outside, I get stressed out When I got people around I’m anxious Nobody likes me, what the fuck now?

When I say hi, I get shut down When I’m outside, I get stressed out When I got people around I’m anxious Nobody likes me, what the fuck now?

Call me the neighbour’s name when you fuck me You ain’t gotta kiss me, you ain’t gotta hug me (Please) Shit I mean really, just do something Please just touch me I don’t wanna go to my nephew’s birthday His friends play rugby, they might just hurt me Last time they just kicked my shins And spat on my christmas turkey

Hit another spliff and I feel alright Then I hit another line, I convulse and fly Rip out my heart, left open wide Jump on the back of my ex and pipe I’m like hello, I’m like hi Do you want a backrub? Do you wanna die? Do you wanna catch up? Do you wanna cry? Do you want a slice of the painful pie?

Wife’s got a best friend, her name’s Sandy She’s got a husband, his name’s Andy I like to picture them when they fuck And imagine that her ass tastes sweet like candy Who’s got a camera? Wanna take a picture Got a good shot of my best friend’s sister She’s bent down with her hand on red Rock hard in the middle of a game of twister

I play the horns, the horns of death A girl said hi, now I’m obsessed Stick it in the wank bank, back to the nest Then it’s candlelight, lay back and carress I’m not alone, the voice in my head Tells me I’m handsome and great in bed When you got chocolate, who needs sex? I can just wank to a text instead

When I say hi, I get shut down When I’m outside, I get stressed out When I got people around I’m anxious Nobody likes me, what the fuck now?

When I say hi, I get shut down When I’m outside, I get stressed out When I got people around I’m anxious Nobody likes me, what the fuck now?

Hell yeah, alright Hell yeah, alright Hell yeah, alright