The Nintendo Switch “Lite” On Functionality?

Call me old fashioned, but I find sincerity and honesty to be a most endearing quality. I have a greater respect for someone who confesses their enmity towards an action I’ve taken or to me as a person than I do to those that purposely and routinely lie. Lying, in any of its deceptive forms is discourteous and frankly rude. There’s no courage in lies. Admitting failure, accepting a mistake are far more commendable attributes than never being implicated for a deception. A friend of mine in school was almost pathological in his lying that I couldn’t distinguish the seldom moments of candour from the incessant “bull” that would stampede from his mouth. His insistence on dishonesty had such permanent adverse effect on our friendship, that I haven’t spoken to him in over a decade. Another extension of lying is the intent of “misleading”. Perhaps not as severe as a flat out lie, misleading definitions are to my mind just as irksome. For example chips, not fries, when arranged into two slices of bread, or any variation of dough for that matter is called a “chip butty”. Not a potato bap or a chip bun or any other polyonomous name. Also whilst we are staggering down “Tangent Road”, just off “What’s the point” way, the expression is “I couldn’t care less”, not “I could care less”. The latter implies that you “could” care less about something you’re emphasising you don’t care about. Now after such a meandering prologue it’s only natural that we talk about the crux of this overly convoluted tirade, the Nintendo Switch. Specifically its new revised interpretation.

The Switch is an adaptable, hybrid console capable of playing games in three distinct ways. Functioning as both a portable and a more traditional stationary device, its ability to convert between the two is what made the Switch such a uniquely appealing games console. Trust me, playing Skyrim on the toilet changes you. Especially when you can continue your pillaging of a thieves den on the comfort of your own sofa. So imagine creating one of gaming’s most revolutionary games consoles and deciding that it’s too interchangeable. Too adaptable. Well that’s what Nintendo concluded was the next logical regression for the Switch.

All right I’ll admit that I’m not as apposed to the Switch Lite as my explicit analysis suggests. I actually believe that it’s an industrious little concept. Something that will appeal to those that really only play games on the move. My problem with the Switch Lite is twofold, both concerning misleading definitions. First off, if you’re insisting on the Switch prefix, then why not call it the “Lite Switch”. I feel like that’s an inexcusable omission from Nintendo’s marketing department. Second, and frankly more irksome is the fact they’re calling it a Switch at all. The basic function of the Switch, is that it Switches, right? So if its a strictly portable device, then by its very definition its not a Switch, lite or otherwise. See my tedious musings from early don’t seem so eccentric now! I really am this pedantic!

The Switch Lite is no more a Switch than a Jaffa Cake is a biscuit. Now if it had been given a more accurate title, they’d be no problem. Like the way Nintendo’s duel screen portable console was given the acronym “DS”. Or its successor the cleverly named “3DS” because of its capability to display 3D images without the use of those Buddy Holly style glasses that never fit my fat cranium. Perhaps if it were called the “Switchedback” or “Gameboy Super Advanced” I’d be satisfied. At the very least the generic terminology would be more accurate than naming it after a function it doesn’t possess. Just look at the advertisements where you see the detachable analogue controls being clicked into the Switch’s trademark. It’s not capable of that? The Switch is, but not the Lite!

As you can see, I don’t like misleading definitions. Or false advertising. Or lying really. The Switch Lite might be cheaper and may even appeal to you. But to me it isn’t a Switch. It’s a falsity.

What do you think? Would you buy a Switch Lite instead of a Switch? Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.