The Difference Between Sorrow and Repentance

Repentance is an often-misunderstood word in Christianity. It has been so de-emphasized that it is seldom mentioned in the church. Biblical repentance includes confession of sin to God and others, seeking forgiveness for that sin, leaving that sin, and living opposite to that sin. But the real emphasis with repentance is in the “turning.”

Repentance must include a changed life. It doesn’t stop with remorse over one’s sin or just some outward action of a good deed. It includes both leaving sin and pursuing righteousness.

Repentance is not just emotion. Just because someone weeps over a sin does not mean they have genuine repented. We know Judas felt incredibly remorseful over his betrayal of Christ, so much so that he hanged himself. Yet, Judas never truly repented from sin: he was called the son of perdition and Christ said it would have been good if he had never been born.

Remorse should accompany repentance. Sorrow is a part of confession but not the whole of it.

The Bible is clear about the role of remorse in repentance. Consider the example of David. David committed a hideous sin with Bathsheba (II Samuel 11) – adultery. When her husband Uriah returned from the war, David sent him back to the front lines in order that he might be killed and not discover what David and Bathsheba had done – that’s murder.

After being confronted of these wicked deeds by Nathan (II Samuel 12), David penned very remorseful words. He said, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”; and you forgave the guilt of my sin” (Psalm 32:5).

And then, “Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin…For I know my transgressions…Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in your sight…Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities…Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation…The sacrifices of God are a brokenspirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” (Psalm 51:2-3a, 4a, 9, 14a, 17).

Remorse may be fueled from knowing the ensuing consequences ahead or for fear of the response of others. Feeling remorseful will lead someone to say something like “I’m sorry,” but it never guarantees someone will truly repent. Usually someone who is remorseful may try to do some unrelated good things in order to cancel out the bad. Sometimes a remorseful person who lacks repentance might look for reasons they sinned or even make justification for it.

Biblical repentance takes all this step further. Repenters admit full responsibility for their sin and are genuinely crushed from the weight of guilt. But they never stop there; a genuine repenter seeks the forgiveness from God and others who are involved because they hate their sin and want to avoid it completely. Finally, a genuine repenter makes a plan to make changes – by putting away the sin and putting on righteousness (Luke 3:8-18; James 1:22-27­).