The Book of Eli (The Hughes Brothers) 2010

Book of Eli is a movie based primarily on three movies: Boy and his Dog, Once Upon a Time in the West, and (influenced the most) Zatoichi.  Denzel Washington is a man who is walking “west” to deliver the Bible to a town.  I personally don’t know how it takes a person 30 years to walk across America.  You could walk on your hands and get there faster.  And yes, I know the “twist” but it doesn’t change a thing.  Anyhoo, he comes upon a town run by Carnegie (Gary Oldman) who wants a Bible to control the masses.  Apparently he can’t get a Bible because people blamed the Bible after the apocalypse and destroyed all but one copy.  Now, there are some issues with this such as:

I don’t necessarily know why Carnegie NEEDS a Bible.  He practically has a country of his own through his own methods which didn’t involve a Bible so the book is redundant.

I still don’t know why Carnegie needs specifically a Bible.  If he just wants to misuse religion he can use anything and can even make one up to serve his purposes.

I don’t buy either that a country crushed by an apocalypse could really rally to destroy ALL copies of the most widely published book ever.  Now these aren’t bashes on Christianity, these are just plot inconsistencies. These issues don’t ruin the plot or the movie but it certainly doesn’t help.  I could go on an on about plot holes and inconsistencies (including the twist at the end which is all kinds of bullshit) but I already know the response to this.  “This is a turn your brain off kind of movie Moses.  I just want to watch Denzel fucking shit up and Oldman chewing the scenery.”

To a point I can go with that.  For the first third of the movie I was actually with the film.  Denzel does  a good job playing Zatoichi with a big machete in a Fallout type world.  Oldman also chews scenery with a shit eating grin on his face.  And if the movie stuck with that bloody exploitation type action fest then I would have been won over.  But the Hughes Brothers made a decision which irked me.

Eli is clearly and undeniably protected by God in this movie.  Eli stands in front of 30 guys in the open with guns trained on him and they all miss.  This is not the stormtrooper effect; God is deflecting the bullets away.  Not just that, God teleports Eli out of rooms with no escape and around the wasteland when the plot necessitates it.  This is bullshit.  This is like Prince of Space.  If God is just going to protect Eli then what is the point of the movie? There is no tension.  There is no action.  There is no drama.  That decision kills all that.

Despite the movie having the Bible, it really isn’t about Christianity.  No one is going to see this movie and want to convert.  The message of the movie is that religion isn’t necessarily evil but the people choose whether it is used for good or evil.  And I suppose that’s not too bad for a moral (for bad morals see Knowing) although I don’t believe it to be that simple. But whatever.

I know people are going to have a built in excuse for rejecting this review.  I make no denials I am not a Christian and you may make the argument this movie is just not for me because of that.  I disagree with that though.  My issue is not with the religion in this movie.  At no point did I feel like I was being preached at or proselytized.  I think non-Christians can go into this movie and not have a problem with the message.  The acting is overall good (I will take any excuse to see Tom Waits in a movie) and the action is staged well (no shaky cam or quick cuts).  The plot is just really poorly written and has numerous ginormous plot holes.  Coupled with the fact the action and tension are almost taken out of the plot and it just is mediocre.  In the end it’s just a big “meh” by me.