The Bible and Suicide (Part 6): How to Counsel the Suicidal

This 6-part series on what the Bible says about suicide is a synopsis of a 2-part sermon series in preached in 2020. If you want to listen to those messages I preached at Wichita Bible Church click here.

Today, I want to equip you to counsel the suicidal. What can we do when someone says they plan on taking their lives.

First, take suicide seriously. When you hear words like or “life doesn’t matter” or “I want to die” and other similar phrases, don’t assume the person is joking or teasing. And if they are not serious, they need to be trained not to use such alarming vocabulary (e.g., teens and children do this often). We need to make sure the person received help A.S.A.P. We must pay attention to any threats. Call for help when necessary (e.g., 911, pastor, counselor)

Second, believe you are competent to help them (Rom 15:14). That word for “instruct” is the Greek word noutheteo, which means “to counsel.” It involves a variety of kinds of counseling – encouraging, teaching, warning, advising, shepherding. One of the one another’s is counseling one another. And God does not tell us to relate to one another in ways that are impossible.   

Third, be a good listener. Don’t be too quick to offer solutions or answers to their questions. Ask them, “What is triggering your suicidal thoughts?” Investigate. Encourage them to talk. Solomon’s counsel on this matter is of utmost important to follow – “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame” (Prov 18:13).

Fourth, empathize. Don’t try to make them feel like they are all alone in their despairing or foolish thoughts. Tell them the stories of saints like Moses, Jonah or Elijah who all wanted God to kill them for a variety of reasons. Tell them about the great despair of Rebekah, Rachel, or Paul (II Cor 1:8-9) and that God never honored their request for death – but instead met them in their despair (Heb 2:17-18; 4:15-16). Weep with them (Rom 12:15).

Fifth, give them other options to suicide. Remind them why life is valuable, and that God plans for everyone involve living all out to the glory of God until God determines our moment of death. Remind them of the story of the Philippian jailer who almost committed suicide (Acts 16:27-28). He knew after prisoners like Paul and Silas were released from their shackles following that earthquake that his life would be taken from the Roman authorities. Instead of taking his own life, Paul gave him a reason to live. 

Sixth, help them realize what they can and cannot control. So many things we cannot control (e.g., how a child will respond to our command, if our company has a profitable quarter or not, who wins the Presidential election). And then we allow ourselves to be anxious or paralyzed over those matters we cannot control. Often, the person who is suicidal might be despondent over things outside of their control.  

Seventh, give them a bigger view of God. The bigger the God, the smaller the circumstance will seem. The bigger the circumstance, the smaller God will seem. Learning to trust God will provide relief.

Eighth, correct their distorted thinking. Help them unmask their false hopes and idols. Challenge the lies they’ve believed, their irrational thoughts, and the implications of the decision to commit suicide. Help them learn to renew their mind (Rom 12:1-2).  

Ninth, bring hope.  Teach them to not hope in people or circumstances but in God. The suicidal often don’t see hope or feel hope. Hopelessness is the single strongest predicter of whether someone will consider taking their life or not. Remind them God has a purpose and plan for your life (Isa 43:7). Remind them God’s plan is for life (John 10:10). Remind them God promises our soul’s rest from our problems (Matt 11:28-29). Remind them the Gospel saves us from being in bondage to sinful thinking (II Cor 5:17).

Tenth, emphasize involvement with the church. The suicidal feel alone. They don’t see the strength of friendship; they run from or don’t have any accountability; there is little or no encouragement or edification in their life. there is nothing but loneliness. Remind them others exist to comfort us, because they’ve been down the same road (II Cor 1:3-4). Remind them truths grows stronger when we are together (Heb 10:23-25). Remind then every Christian is needed by other Christians (I Cor 12:20-21).