.png)
The Best And The Rest 77
Murphy’s Law states that if something can go wrong, it will. I hate this law because it makes me paranoid. And it’s one thing for things to go wrong, and another when things go terribly wrong. Sometimes fate colludes with the many factors that come together for the sole purpose of thwarting your best plans. Anyway, here’s our great fears realized.
June 19, 2008 → The Top Ten Signs That Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong
ACER – If you wake up and your thingy ain’t up.
Rogie – If you wake up one morning to find Manny Pacquiao as the Philippine president.
Loipogi – If your doctor tells you that you’re going to be a father, when in fact you’re impotent.
Loipogi – If your gorgeous, hunky basketball player boyfriend can enumerate the Ms. Universe winners from 1987 to 2007.
Glenneth – I knew something was wrong when I finished a crucial final exam in one of my majors at least an hour ahead of everyone else. It turns out there were more questions at the back page. I flunked the subject.
Sayuri – If, on report card day, your son comes home and the first thing he says is, “Mommy, good mood ka ba…?”
Rogie – If you ask a hot-looking girl what her name is, and she answers in a low voice, “Joselito.”
Laurence – When you return to where you parked your car and you find an empty slot.
Rogie – If you see the Philippine flag flying with the red side up.
SPY Shadow – If, during a flight, you hear the pilot announcing “This is the Captain speaking. Please, repeat after me. . .”Our Father…”
Lennort – I know I’m in trouble when my mom calls me by my whole name, because my lola named me after the girl she wanted my dad to marry, just to spite my mom.
Dongster – If your fart feels wet.
Marie – If, you remember after you just had vigorous sex, that you forgot to remove your tampon.
No name – If you just left your phone for 10 minutes, then when you check it again, you see that you have 24 missed calls from the one client.
Von Trapp – If while you’re on a cruise ship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you see a commotion, and upon closer inspection you see the staff distributing salbabidas.
Greg – If your ultra conservative wife suddenly blurts out of nowhere, “I want a threesome with a relative…”
Danforth – If this hot girl tells you on your first date, “Have you ever dated a girl with testicles?”
Carandossa – If your 16-year-old daughter asks you nervously during dinner, “Ma, anong age ka nabuntis?”
Flower Power – If you search for the word “pedophile” on the internet and the first thing that pops up is a picture of your husband.
Darlene – True Story: my 83-year-old lola blurts out in front of my barkada, “Apo, i-add mo naman ako sa friendster mo. Tapos, pa-testi naman diyan!“
Comments