The Best And The rest 68

Well, I have a long way to go to sort out my pictures, so it’s back to business with a Top Ten post.  It’s so fitting that it’s an internet topic since it’s something I had to do without for the past couple of days.  It’s just a weird feeling, like you were cut off from the rest of the world.  But I must say, it was refreshing to have no TV, no internet, no newspaper…nothing.

May 29, 2008 → The Top Ten Internet Moments

1. Techie 777/Daisy6 – A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?” The dad answers, “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway. Your mom and I got together in a chatroom. I set up a date via email and we met at a cybercafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy disk to a stiffy, then your mom agreed to do a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discoverd that neither of us had used a firewall. And since it was too late to hit the delete button, 9 months later, a blessed little pop-up appeared and said: ‘You’ve got male!'”

2. Datgurl – My brother was chatting over at mirc. There was this girl who messaged him asking, “Wer u at?” My brother said, “Sa internet cafe.” The girl said, “Ay, sige, bye. I only talk to guys na may sariling pc.” What she didn’t know was, he OWNS the internet cafe. Talk about gold diggers!

3. No name – I was on Friendster, and I saw my boyfriend’s new account, so I gave him a comment, saying “Love u, mwah!” The next day my mom said “Huli ka!” I found out later that it was my mom who created the account.

4. No name – I am an avid RF online gamer, and I have a friend online. He’s a specialist, and I buy ammo from him. One day, I met him during our grand EB, and he turned out to be the vocalist of RAZORBACK!!! W0000H! A rockstar supplies me ammo!

5. Asymptomatic – There’s this girl that I wanted to court who also plays this online game I’m playing. She was only playing before summer ended, and she wanted to get married in the game before she retired. What I did was, one Saturday, I warped her to her fave spot (named proposal hill) knelt down, then gave her a tiara and a diamond ring. Instead of typing my proposal, I called her up and told her over the phone. We got hitched after 2 weeks.

6. Marcus – Sometimes I have no choice but to answer my 5yo son’s difficult questions with either “I’ll look it up online later” or “Only God knows why.” One day he said to me, “Dad, you know who knows the answer to everything? The internet! And Jesus too!”  Jesus just got second billing.

7. Weng – I was chatting one night when one of my chatters asked the one question that I hate the most: “Saan ka now? Sa bahay o sa café?” So I answered: “Dito sa bahay, nagka-kape.”

8. No name – One day my dad left the computer open, and he forgot to sign out. Naughty thing I did was to open the sent item. Imagine my shock when I saw an emailed letter to his first love saying, “I still miss you.” I still keep that secret up until now. My mom has no idea.

9. Rodel Garcia – I subscribed to a sleazy yahoo group. A few days after, a post from a guy looking for someone to trade porn with. He stated that he prefers pinoy vids. He then posted his cell phone number. He turned out to be one of my best friends, using a different name. I forwarded his email to our other friends, so alaskado siya sa amin when wesaw each other next.

10. No name – I’m a mountaineer, but secretly doing it for a few months now! Meaning, my mom doesn’t know about it.  Last month, after I got home from a climb, my mom askd me, “Saan ka ba talaga galing?” It gave me the creeps, thinking how she found out where I’ve gone that weekend. Eventually, I learned that she accessed my Friendster account through my younger brother’s account.

11. Lilacstardust – I found out that somebody plagiarized my blog. She’s such a loser coz she plagiarized my beach experience, including my opinions and stuff.

12. Louise – The Imdb (Internet movie database) site has loads of users w/ crazy sigs. One goes, “If you choke a smurf, what color wud it be?”

13. Shao – Believe it or not, in 2003, I got to chat with Aaron Carter, complete w/ webcam. Mga 15 minutes, nagkuwento lang siya about Heart Evangelista & Angelica Panganiban. Apparently, si Heart and Angelica lang ang naaalala niya dito sa Pinas. Aaron Carter was eating mais during that time. Nobody believes me up to now, but it really happened. Btw, it was Aaron who buzzed me for a chat. I was in a US chatroom. At first, I didn’t believe that it was him until he turned on his cam.

14. JKhunter – I implemented a webfilter system in our compny to block pornsites. When I was checking the logs, I caught a user tryng to access one, so I warned him. Later, I browsed the site myself.

15. The Director – I met this girl through a dating site. We became regular chatmates up until the point that we were doing sex chats. One evening, she revealed her true identity. That was the last time I chatted with her. She turned out to be one of my former students.

16. Curt Smith – The 1st time we had internet at home, I tried browsing a porn site. Big mistake! I browsed a site that had adware, which changed my homepage to the porn site. So now, when the kids have to use the computer, they have to close their eyes 1st while I change the site.

17. Louise – I belong to a CSI gsr forum. One of the basic rules in a forum is to use proper spelling and grammar. A few of the newbies were warned that they should take care of character spelling because they kept calling Warrick, Warwick. Turned out they were Brits, and they pronounce Warwick, as “Warrick”.

18. Joltino – Whenever I check my Multiply site, my sister and her friends would spam my guestbook. They normally type lots of gibberish.

19. Marijo – I heard about this one client calling a call center complaining that he just wants to book a flight from expedia.com. But whenever he goes to the site, he sees a porn site insted. Turned out, he kept on typing sexpedia.com.

20. Jose de vengenge – In a netshop, I was watching porn for my thesis. Di ko alam I turned the volume so high that everyone could hear the moans & groans until the one beside me told me to turn it down. I felt so embarassd that I left.

21. Jose de vengenge – I was having a sexy chat with this girl from Budapest. GIRL: “If my right leg was your lunch & my left leg was your dinner, which do you prefer?” ME: “Uhm…can I have the snack in between?”