The Best And The Rest 52

Some people have a talent for saying more than what was actually said. There’s a way of saying so much more without actually saying it. That’s why I love words. Two people can be delivering the same idea, but one would always say it better than the other. It’s a skill to actually think up and deliver loaded statements. If you can do this, if you’re both a drama queen AND a wordsmith, you can always have a career in writing telenovelas.

April 28, 2008 → The Top Ten Loaded Statements

1. CULALEI – One time, when I was checking out a blouse in a tiangge, a saleslady approached me and said, “Ma’am pili na, marami kaming XL!”

2. No name – I once told my worried, single, no-boyfriend since birth friend, who missed her period: “Bakit, may ginawa ka ba para mag-alala ka kung buntis ka?”

3. BedBathed Mitch/Dignus – When a mom asked her daughter why her best friend is so much more superior with honors left and right, the daughter told her mom: “Siguro matalino nanay niya.”

4. Skywalker – “When I was 12, I won the MVP in basketball and I was so proud to show the trophy to my mom. And my mom said: “Diyan ka lang magaling.”

5. Hannah – I once told an officemate, “Siguro hindi ka taga-UP no?” But I felt so guilty after saying it.

6. MNEMONIC – My friend’s wife’s stand about his extra-curricular activities: “I’d rather have 50% of him than lose 100% of him.”

7. No name – I really freaked out in the gym once, when a guy approached me and said: “Pare, your body is a wonderland…”

8. Northeast – I’m very morena, and when I gave birth to our very fair daughter, the nurse commented: “Siguro po, maputi ang daddy niya, no?”

9. Blair – When I heard an officemate bragging about her graduating cum laude, I blurted out: “HIndi halata…”

10. Maynman – Read this interview in a newspaper recently, Aga Muhlach on infidelity: “I always TRY to be loyal to my wife, and she knows this.”

11. Shining – My laiterang officemate once said: “Alam mo, yung anak ni Che kamukha ni Kokey. Ito namang anak mo…kamukha ng anak ni Che.”

12. RC N CESS – I once texted a friend: “Piso lang ang text…”

13. Vie – “Huy, nabalitaan niyo na ba? Ang hiniram, sinasauli!”

14. Kabalyero – In my profile for guys4men: “HIndi lahat ng sinusubo sa akin, kinakain ko!”

15. V54 – 4 yrs ago, after a wholesome date with a 37-year old separada, I took her home. Later, she texted me: “Sobrang gentleman mo naman…”

16. Mr. Perk – “Pare, experiment lang…pa-kiss…”

17. Your Highness – “Mas masarap ang luto ng Mommy ko…”

18. YñaKì – A boutique saleslady: “Sir, doon na lang kayo bumili sa Megamall…SALE po doon ngayon!”

19. Cheska/Blair/Tani – A married friend told a single friend, “Bakit wala ka pang asawa, eh maganda ka naman?” The single friend answered, “Hindi lahat ng nag-aasawa, maganda.”

20. Chinky – To my ex’s current girlfriend, who’s been harassing me: “Hating me won’t make you any prettier.”