The Best And The Rest 3

January 15, 2008 – The Top Ten Things To Say To A Crazy Person

1. Joltino – “What’s your favorite brand of donuts? Go Nuts?

2. SPY Shadow – “You’re not crazy, you’re just in love!”

3. Kangkong – This incident happened yesterday when me and my brother were walking along EDSA when a taong grasa started walking towards us. My brother told him, “Lumayo ka sa ‘kin, kundi isasaksak ko ‘tong sapatos ko sa puwet mo!”

4. Cheyenne – “Let me guess, dalawa ang Mother in law mo ‘no?”

5. No name – “You’re one french fry short of a happy meal.”

6. Queen bee – “You’re crazy! C-H-I-C-O, CRAZY!”

7. Ubermensch – “Magkapatid ang parents mo, ‘no?”

8. Chloe – “How many times did your yaya drop you?”

9. Jedi Master – True st0ry: My semi-crazy officemate told me, “Ikaw talaga, masyado kang ‘O.S.’ eh!” So I asked what ‘O.S.’ meant. She replied, “Ano, ‘O.S.’ lang ‘di mo pa alam? Eh di obsessive-compulsive!”

10. Vina – A pr0fessor tells a med student during an anatomy practical exam: “Doctor, please stop asking the cadaver what that muscle is called.”

11. Frederique – “Si Crispin inutusan ni Batman bumili na suka. Si Basilio naman, ayun naglalaro ng PS2 kaya ayaw umuwi.”

12. Eylek – “Sa mga ulo ng balita: may apat na sira ulong nakatakas sa mental hospital at sinasabing sila daw po ay mga sikat na singers gaya nila Prince, Madonna, at Cyndi Lauper. At yan po ang kabuuan ng mga balita. Ito po ang inyong lingkod, si Michael Jackson.”

13. Shie – “Sabi ko naman kasi sa ‘yo wag ka nang tumira ng rugby eh. Sa susunod, try mo naman mag-katol!”

14. Tsiken Fit – When a looney officemate starts talking crazy, we tell him, “Alam mo, kung hindi namatay si Bruce Lee, sigurado naging Miss Universe siya.” That usually shuts him up and gets him thinking.

15. No name – 2 crazy people were trying to escape a mental facility. The 1st one jumped from one rooftop to another, but the 2nd one couldn’t. The 1st one said, “Alam ko na, bubuksan ko ‘tong flashlight, tapos tumawid ka dun sa beam of light!” The 2nd one replied, “Anong akala mo sa ‘kin, baliw? Eh kung patayin mo yung flashlight pag nasa gitna na ko?”

16. Grace of Makati – When I was an intern at the psych ward of Veterans years ago, I was really inexperienced. When I interviewed a new patient, he kept looking at my ring and he asked me if he could borrow it. I was alone and didn’t know what to do, so I gave it to him. When the interview was over, he refused to give back the ring, so I told my resident about it. He got it back for me, then he told me, “O, sino ngayon ang mas sira sa inyong dalawa?”

17. YñaKì – “Kaya ka may katok, kasi text ka ng text! Get it, katok and text?”