The Best And The Rest 212

Okay I’m so nervous about going inside Big Brother’s house.  I’m a breakdown short of losing it!  So let me post something to calm my nerves. I should be taking a nap or something, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.  I’m so stressed!  I’ve been on television before, but I’ve never been THIS nervous about an appearance!  I just don’t want to bungle up while I’m there.  Plus, I’m such a fan of the show that The nervousness and the excitement are both getting my insides in a knot!  This is exactly how I felt when I was to visit Disneyland for the first time when I was a kid.  I had diarrhea the day before because I was so excited.  Anyway, sorry, I’m a bundle of nerves.  That’s why I need to do something or I’ll go crazy…

March 19, 2009 → The Top Ten Signs That It’s Either Too Big Or Too Small – Loi Pogi

1. Blitzkrieg – It’s too big if they can’t help staring at it with mouth open when they finally see it.

2. Ex-Mortis – It’s too big if you don’t wear condoms because you can’t find one that fits.

3. Pancakes – It’s too small if your boobs are a pirate’s dream (a sunken chest).

4. Mojacko – It’s too big if while riding a packed MRT, the lady in front of you turns around and tells you: “Wag niyo po akong holdapin!”

5. Red – During my cousin’s circumcision, the nurse told him: “Hihintayin kita paglaki mo, kasi mukhang mapapasaya mo koh!!!”

6. RC & Cess – If you go to a motel and your date goes: “This is not what I expected when you said ‘short time’.”

7. Teri – You’re too big if all your dates waddle like ducks the morning after.

8. Maomao – My tita’s boobs are so big, that everytime she buys a bra, she repairs it herself to fit her.

9. Mary – My boobs are too big because everytime I eat, rice collects on my cleavage.

10. Quasimodork – If your girlfriend tells you: “Pasalamat ka mahaba ang dila mo…”

11. Uglybelle – If you can hang your towel “there” while you do other things.

12. No name – If girls always ask you: “Galit na ba yan?”

13. No name – If your nickname is LION KING (puro ulo tapos covered with hair).

14. Frederique – If girls always say: “Siguro malaki lang talaga kamay ko…”

15. Kemusabe – If you can carry a dozen donuts without using your hands.

16. Kid Bukid – If you were peeing and a lola accidentally sees “it”, and she goes: “Ay kabayo! (pause) Ay…kabayo nga..!!!”

17. Weiss – If you go for a checkup and your doctor takes out his tweezers and a magnifying glass.

18. Gooey Kablooey – When girls always ask you: “Are you sure you’re Asian?”

19. Potato – I’m 33 years old, but when I go to the lingerie section, slaesladies always ask: “Kiddie bra?”

20. Maxx – I have a small *toot*. One time while having a massage, when I turned over, the masseuse said: “Ay ang cute!”

21. Walrus – You’re too big if your nickname is “tripod”.

22. Ehem – You never sit on the toilet bowl kasi sumasawsaw na sa tubig.

23. Jedi Mstr – If the masseuse refuses payment and says with a wink: “It was my fleyshoor!”

24. SC – Man: “Paki check po itong ari ko.” Doc: (sees that it’s the size of a triple A battery) “Anong problema, masyadong maliit?” Man: “Hello? Di niyo ba nakikita…namamaga!”

25. Rodel – You’re too small if your a member of the kiss-bunot gang. Pag nag-kiss, nabubunot.