The Best And The Rest 207

It’s my first Top Ten post for the year, a sure sign that everything’s slowly but surely getting back to the normal grind.  The holiday season won’t be officially over until after 3 kings, but when Monday hits, it’s back to reality for most of you (I say you because we didn’t really have holidays during the xmas season).

March 10, 2009 → The Top Ten Lies Grownups Told You – SC

1. SC – Sabi ng mama ko, pag lagi akong kumakain sa McDo, malalaman ni Freddie Krueger na masarap ang pagkain dun, kaya kikidnapin niya si Ronald McDonald at gagawing personal cook.

2. Pekto – My yaya told me na naghirap na ang school ko (Don Bosco), kaya gagawin na lang “Mang Bosco” ang pangalan.

3. Billog – As a kid, I’d always ask for an apple. Not being rich, my mom would always give me a tomato and told me it’s the Philippine version of an apple.

4. Toby – My mom told me that if I didn’t drink my milk, liliit ang putotoy ko.

5. Chuchay – My lola told me: “Wag kang sisipol, kundi lalaki ang pepe mo.”

6. Bebang -Sabi ng tita ko, pag di daw ako natulog ng tanghali, hihigupin ako ng malaking trumpeta ng banda ng patay.

7. Pendong – Nung bata pa kami sa probinsiya, pag nanghingi kami ng pera, sasabihin ng mama namin, niluluto pa daw niya ang pera.

8. Manong Guard – Sabi ng lola ko, pag nasugatan ako ng Biyernes Santo, may lalabas sa sugat ko na pari na may kasamang prusisiyon.

9. Fallen Angel – My dad used to tell us that medicine was: “pinatigas na softdrinks”.

10. Dolce Vita – My lolo used to tell us that he owned Mt. Arayat. We’d tell all our classmates and they’d all believe us as well.

11. Jordin – My lola told me, when I get my first period, to wipe my panty on my face so I don’t get pimples.

12. Frederique – That Santa Claus owns Unimart and Cherry Foodarama, that’s why sometimes my gifts are wrapped in Unimart and Cherry gift wrappers.

13. Niña – My lola told me pag sinampay ng magkatabi ang brief at ang panty, mabubuntis ang may-ari ng panty.

14. Huge – When I asked my lola how my lolo died, she answered: “Nakalimutan niyang huminga.”

15. Eliteblood – Our lola told us: “Ang gamot sa sore eyes, ihian niyo ang sarili niyong mga mata.”

16. Leni – Pag daw naulanan ka when you have your period, mababaliw ka.

17. Petiks – My tita said pakagat namin ang nipples namin sa tutubi para gumaling kami sa swimming.

18. Astroboy – An uncle told my brother before that PSBA meant: Pagawaan ng Sapatos, Bakya, Atbp.

19. Kesibi – There’s another Santa Claus who makes toys using not elves, but little slave kids who were naughty too many times.

20. Billie – Our parents said for every grain of rice that we wasted, would be a sack of rice we’d carry in purgatory.

21. Yñaki – My evil uncle said our old yaya used to be an ago-go dancer, and that one of our cousins is her son.

22. Astroboy – My mom told us that being an old maid is hereditary.

23. Kaulitz – According to my dad, chewing gum is made of “gilagid ng intsik”.

24. LilRedShiningNips – Whenever my officemate’s kid asks where his father is, she tells him, “Anak, nalunod siya sa sabaw.”

25. Archiekins – Every time you point at a star, an angel goes blind.

26. Nobag – My older brother told me that if I peed on a girl’s pee, I’d get her pregnant.

27. Epiktetus – My older brother told me that there were actually 13 months in a year.  The 13th month is a secret. It’s called Tektember.