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The Best And The Rest 136
I’ve never been slapped, and I’ve never slapped anyone, so I wouldn’t know. But I have an idea what sort of statement desrves one.
October 9, 2008 → The Top Ten Statements That Will Get You A Slap In The Face
Tyeskalicious – Say this to your ex’s new girlfriend: “I had a party last night and I’m sorry you couldn’t come. But your boyfriend did…TWICE!”
His Cuteness – Wife mad at drunk husband: “From now on, lips that touch liquor will never touch mine.” Husband: “Hmm…trying to decide between 12 year old scotch and 50 year old lips.”
Astroboy – “Maganda kang breed ng aso. Half bulldog, half shitzu. In short, bullshit ka.”
Crazy Red – If you tell a friend who’s showing you her 1st baby: “Wow ang cute, artistahin! Pang Animal Planet!”
JPT – Boy: “Nasabi ko na bang maganda ka?” Girl: (kilig) “Hindi pa…” Boy: “Buti naman…”
Espeks – “Nice legs, what time do they open?”
d.vet – My husband once told me: “Take care of MY kids.”
Geyp – “No wonder iniwan ka ng asawa mo…”
Kresha – To a breastfeeding woman: “Miss, pagkatapos ni beybi, ako naman…”
Astroboy – “Ipagtimpla mo ko ng kape! Yung sing-itim ng budhi mo!”
Frod – If a girl tell you: “F*ck you!” And you answer: “When?”
Mr. Perk – If you tell a friend: “Nakalimutan mo na bang may utang ka pa sa kin?” And the friend answers: “Wag ka mag-alala, konting panahon pa, makakalimutan ko rin yun!”
Sexybabe – My then boyfriend once told me: “Ang susunod kong girlfriend, gusto ko yung taga-U.P.”
No name – “Wag kang demanding, kasi kabit lang kita!”
Cheyenne – If you tell a chubby person: “Let me guess. Ano lotion mo, Mang Tomas?”
Jun13 – Apo: “Lola pag umuulan, naaalala kit.” Lola: (napangiti) “Ang sweet naman. Bakit mo ko naaalala?” Apo: “Amoy lupa eh!”
SC – “Kung totoong ang tao galing sa unggoy, bakit ikaw mukhang kabayo?”
Kabodskie – A friend of mine was actually asked by someone: “Excuse me, tomboy ka ba o bakla?”
SPY Shadow – When you tell a breastfeeding woman: “Nice boobs…ugly baby!”
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