The BBQ Nerd’s 16 Film Monster Marathon (or How I Broke My Friend)

As I return for the New Year, invigorated after battling strep, I’d like to weave you, the reader, a tale. A tale of joy and madness. Come along my Questers, as we chart the journey of my film fest from conception to realization.

So it all started after I finished watching the Godzilla movies. I was talking to my friends about them, and it just so happens that one of them- Cody- is someone I’ve had long film marathons with. We binged the first 12 MCU films before Captain America: Civil War, and we watched the first 11 X-Men Universe films. But this was different. How do we binge all of the Godzilla films? Should we even try?

My first inclination was- No. There are some of the films, like the anime trilogy, that don’t need to be binged with the others. But my friend and I have different tastes, so I didn’t want to remove films that he might like just because they aren’t my favorite. So I hatched a plan- we would do a marathon to prepare for Godzilla vs. Kong. The idea would be that we would have Godzilla and King Kong movies, with Godzilla films focusing on the three kaiju that would be appearing in King of the Monsters (2019)- Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah. The final tally was over twenty films and 50 hours long. We realized quickly that we couldn’t feasibly do that. So I split them up- one film fest to prepare for King of the Monsters, the other to prepare for Godzilla vs. Kong. And then I devised about 3 more to get through the other Godzilla films PLUS a slew of great monster flicks.

So I constructed a film fest that would serve as an introduction to these characters. Obviously we would start with Gojira. Then I remembered that Mothra and Rodan both had solo films to introduce them. I thought that this would be a great way to break things up. Before I went further, I realized that Godzilla Raids Again introduces the NEW Godzilla, so I threw it in too. After realizing that the Heisei Rodan appeared in a MechaGodzilla film, I decided to add the first MechaGodzilla film, and the Millenium MechaGodzilla films, as the latter also features Mothra. With a sinking feeling, I also realized that Millenium Rodan appeared in Final Wars, so I added that, then included Destroy All Monsters so my buddy Cody could see a superior version. I ended up with 16 films, a little over 25 hours. We planned it for the beginning of the year, and last weekend we met to finally get it done.

Arriving in the evening, we set off for some tasty snacks. Upon our return, we easily watched the first four films (Gojira, Raids Again, Rodan, and Mothra), before retiring at around 3 AM. Cody has since stated that Gojira was his favorite, and that Mothra was in his top 3 as well. This also began long running joke about how journalists, in the Godzilla universe, are the true saviors.

We woke up bright and early, determined to knock the marathon out. With a bowl of cereal to fuel me, we began Mothra vs. Godzilla. By this point we had switched to dubbed versions when possible (only unable to watch Son of Godzilla and Destroy All Monsters dubbed). After finishing Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster, we were having a good time until MINILLA! Yes the infamous diminutive Godzilla from Son of Godzilla was the first bump in our road. Every time the creepy kaiju was on screen, we cringed, but were still able to enjoy the better parts of the film, like Kumonga.

We took a brief intermission to grab some BBQ at C&J. Cody got the pulled pork with Mac and Cheese and loaded Mashed Potatoes. He had positive things to say about the meat and sides, and was especially impressed by the brisket, a cut of meat he stated that he hadn’t quite warmed up to yet, living in OK. I told him that Texas would make him a brisket man.

When we returned, Destory All Monsters was next. This time around, the film lacked a bit of the novelty from my first viewing, and even Cody’s interest waned a bit. But then Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla came on and our interest was once again captivated. Between the badass Nanbara (Interpol agent), the musical number (I don’t know how many of these we’d had already), and the great monster action, I knew the film had done its job. Then Godzilla turned himself into a magnet. I.. still can’t defend that one. But this was the third time we had seen Anguirus owned so there’s that. Unfortunately it also contained one of his least favorite kaiju- King Caesar.

We were finally out of the Showa era, and entered the Heisei period. Unfortunately, this is also where the dubs took a nose dive in quality. Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, despite having some pretty good monster action, turned my buddy off a bit. Cody has stated that the time travel aspect was one of his least favorite concept, but stated he liked the design of Godzilla quite a bit. Godzilla vs. Mothra was a bit sillier, and Cody’s interest in Mothra kept him a bit more invested. In fact, Cody cited Mothra as his favorite Monster, other than Godzilla. Then Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla 2 came on. All was well until- BABY GODZILLA!

The dislike seethed out of Cody palpably. I knew this one wasn’t going to be his favorite. But next up was my ace in the hole- Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: Giant Mosnters All-Out Attack. Before we had started, I had bet, internally, that GMK would make his top 3. And it did! It had his favorite Godzilla design, and was the closest to picking up the themes to the original, according to him. It also had his favorite atomic breath/beam.

We had one more movie to go that night- Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla. I figured he would like the design, and the anime aspects. Once again, I wasn’t disappointed, and this was his favorite MechaGodzilla design. We went to bed at 2, pretty exhausted but eager to finish the marathon.

Waking up in the morning, we put on Tokyo SOS, and like me, Cody struggled to keep interest. The characters, the narrative, and the themes are just rehashed from older, better films. Even the action was a bit derivative. Finally the moment of truth had arrived- Final Wars was upon us. I knew this would either be loved because of how bonkers it is, or hated because of how terrible it is.

It turned out to be the latter.

Between the random mutant story, Don Frye’s “performance”, or awful monster designs (AND FREAKING MINILLA!), Cody just sat appalled as the atrocity played before his eyes. He later cited Monster X, Gigan, and Keizer Ghidorah as his least favorite monsters, along with Minilla. In fact, he had hated every iteration of Godzilla’s child. Cody lamented that last night had ended so well, but that Final Wars broke him. When it ended, we felt we had just won a war. We signed a custom made poster I created in MS Paint, and I bid him a safe journey back.

We will have our Wrestling Marathon this summer, followed by our Godzilla vs. King Kong fest. I will keep you posted as we descend into madness.

NOTE: I WILL BE GOING BACK AND EDITING MY RANKINGS WITH SECOND VIEWINGS IN MIND. CHECK IN REGULARLY FOR UPDATES!