Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

Director: Jon Watts

Starring: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Benedict Cumberbatch

With Spider-Man’s identity now revealed, Peter asks Doctor Strange for help. When a spell goes wrong, dangerous foes from other worlds start to appear, forcing Peter to discover what it truly means to be Spider-Man.

Oh my gosh, where do I even start telling you how much I hated this film? ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’ thinks itself clever, but in the process opened flood gates of absurdity, stupidity, confusion and plot flaws galore!

I’ve said this from the beginning of this stupid reboot: Tom Holland does NOT make a credible Spider-Man. Ok, so I understand he himself is not to blame; the writers, producers and directors of this series are. They’ve taken the amazing Spider-Man trilogy starring Tobey Maguire and turned it into a comedy so stupid it might be considered a spoof. Three films into this series, Tom Holland’s Spider-Man is still nothing more than an immature kid!

So, Spider-Man’s identity has been revealed. Now Peter Parker approaches Doctor Strange (what is he doing in a Spider-Man film anyway, he has his own films!!) to alter the past so no-one would know who Peter Parker is. Oh, except for the list of people Peter wants excluded from this request… (whatever!!!). By his side is his girlfriend, MJ (very badly acted by Zendaya), and his comic relief friend (who is he again??).

As a result of Doctor Strange’s magic spell, all the villains from Spider-Man’s past return. And even the previous Spider-Mans (Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield)!! Ok, this is where it goes from stupid to preposterous. Does this mean there are three guys named Peter Parker, all of which were bitten by a radio-active spider, all of which became Spider-Man, and all of them has an Aunt named May and a girlfriend named MJ? One of the Spider-Mans even remarks “this is so confusing”. Seriously????!!!!!! The films starring the different Spider-Mans are not supposed to be linked, they are REBOOTS, for goodness sake, so how can there actually be three Spider-Mans for fu*ksakes!!! It makes NO SENSE!! Please explain the logic behind this???

This is a very long film. If they were to cut out all the stupidity, the film would have been significantly shorter. Oh, wait, the entire movie was stupid… Even the visual effects are mediocre. Looking back at the amazing visual effects from the very first ‘Spider-Man’ movie back in 2002, we sadly have to agree the industry has gone backwards. They rely way too much on the overuse of CGI, and the more accessible (and cheap) it becomes, the worse it translates to the screen. Oh, look, and now they even throw in ‘Inception’ effects. And they even mention ‘The Avengers’…

Nostalgia abound, can you even comprehend the stupidity of this film??? I hated every moment and will rate it as such.

Regardless of what I think, ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’ broke several box office records and is currently the 6th highest grossing movie of all time. Its current earnings is nearly $2 billion on a $200 million budget. No doubt there’s going to be sequels and more cross-overs. How about ‘Spider-Man versus Godzilla’ since you’re at it! Fu*k, I hated this film!!

Would I watch it again? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!