Shanghai Surprise (1986) Jim Goddard

Production Budget: $17 million Gross: $2.5 million

Shanghai Surprise was a book that was being bantered around MGM and the other studios for a while with no takers.  The plot was set in 1937 China in which a missionary nurse hires an exotic tie salesman to find a batch of hijacked opium so she could provide it to injured soldiers.  The tone of the book is very much an opposites attract romantic adventure.  At first, producers wanted either Kevin Costner or Tom Hanks but they were too busy with other movies.  It has always been a gimmick by Hollywood to use real life couples to sell tickets.  Madonna and Sean Penn recently got married and they were the hot tabloid item.  The script was sent to Madonna (who loved the fact she would be working for one of the producers George Harrison) who agreed thinking it would be a good holiday for her and her husband.  (Fiasco: Parrish)

Shooting began in Hong Kong and the problems soon arose.  Chinese gangsters were sabotaging equipment on the set and asking more money in case “accidents” happened.  It even got as far as holding up stars Penn and Madonna and demanding money for them to pass into the set.  Production moved to Macao (I’ll have to double check that) but the couple still had trouble with paparazzi.  The production ended up in London with the rest of the movie being shot on interior sets.

That was not even the major problem with production.  The major problem was Sean Penn.  You see Sean Penn was (and some people would still argue) a monumental hothead dick.  It really was an opposite attracts relationship where Penn was a violent hothead and Madonna was actually the calm logical one of the two.  Whenever paparazzi hounded the couple, Penn would lose his cool and yell at them.  One night, a paparazzi came out of the shadows which Penn thought someone was going to attack his wife and he beat the crap out of him.  Penn was charged with Assault and sued and the matter was later settled.  Later on, Penn was photographed punching another paparazzi and spitting on him.  Later as Penn got more and more hounded by photogs, he would lock himself away in his trailer and refuse to work until Madonna calmed him down.  The troubles continued on set too.  Penn did not like the choice to hire Jim Goddard as a director and they didn’t get off on the right foot when Goddard hired Bernard Hill for the role of Faraday.  Eventually Hill was replaced by Paul Freemon (Bellock from Indiana Jones) which prompted all of his scenes to be re shot and the budget to balloon.  Penn got bored with shooting and Madonna was wooden and only believed in doing things in one take.  Eventually both Penn and Madonna stayed away from paparazzi and the couple was labeled as poison.  The country turned on them like they did BenLo.

MGM cut the theater release, cut advertising, and tried their best to put a good image on the product but it didn’t help.

Is it any good?  Ha!  No.  The comedy in this action romance comedy falls flat.  I’ve seen Three’s Company episodes with fresher jokes than this.  The action and intrigue just aren’t there.  Let’s get this straight: this movie only exists to show Sean Penn and Madonna together.  Well, that sucks too.  Sean Penn is obviously bored with the whole thing and drones all of his lines and Madonna…wooden is the understatement of the decade.  She makes Paul Walker look like Philip Seymour Hoffman.  This whole movie is bland with a capital DULL.  Its not horrible, but there is so little to truly admire it is just really bad.