Search-O-Rama! Teen Edition

Because search-engine-query posts never get old, that’s why?

When I named this blog “Drinking Tips for Teens,” I didn’t consider the search-engine ramifications for having “teen” in the title.

I mean, whose blog doesn’t get search hits for queries like “cat with banana words” or “what percentage of the time is ross murray wrong?” (Answer: 0%.) Totally Mr. Normal Blog. But the “teen” queries that end up on my doorstep can be mildly distressing.

teenage dirty lit  – No, not here, thank you, move along, I’m calling the police now.

cute teens doing push ups – Seriously, I’m picking up the phone.

teen mustache is it ugly – As a rule, yes.

mug on face cry teen – About as bad as a mustache but not quite.

teensex im badezimmer hamster – I’m afraid to look up what a “badezimmer” is. And how the hamster comes into play, I don’t want to know.

hamster teen fresh meat – AGGH! I said I didn’t want to know!

so teens no hamster – Exactly what I’ve been saying all along.

teens tip and asses – Generally teens should tip 15% for asses. If the asses have been exceptional, feel free to tip more.

poetrys for teens – Aw, that’s nice. I hope whoever this was also searched “grammars for teens.”

I brought this on myself, of course, and will continue to ignore live with the consequences. Just a reminder that you should be careful what you write about if you don’t want the weirdos peeking over your shoulder. I wish I had thought of that before posting “A big jar of pee” on Wednesday, because this morning:

pee drinking tips

Oh dear.