Saucy Cinema: The Jurassic Park Franchise

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a paleontologist because of Jurassic Park. The movie came out when I was just a few months shy of 6, but I remember seeing it in the theater vividly. The opening scene, all of the sound effects, and the T-Rex attack stuck with me, and I was hooked. A few years later, and I was reading the books along with several nonfiction dinosaur resources. Suffice to say, I was obsessed.

I watched the first two with my mom, dad, and brother, but the week the third installment came out, my mother passed away due to cancer. A few weeks later, my dad, brother and I decided to go ahead and give life a try, and we watched it in the theater together. Those are the kind of life circumstances that affect how I view a movie that just can’t be undone. The franchise was quiet after that, until Jurassic World came out. At the time, I was finishing up my job as an assistant manager at a Cinemark. I screened Jurassic World and decided that I more or less liked it, but watching again with my dad and brother produced diminishing returns. Last year, when Jurrasic World: Fallen Kingdom came out, I was so put off by the trailers, I didn’t even see it in theaters. I finally caught it on blu-ray at Redbox, and I wasn’t a huge fan.

After burning through over 50 Japanese kaiju films, I decided to focus on some old school dinosaur films like The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms and The Giant Behemoth. I got bit by the dino bug again, and even got my hands on a restored copy of the 1925 classic, The Lost World. But I knew my dino retrospective wouldn’t be complete without a look and ranking of the Jurassic Park films. I knew I would write an article here about it too, but after getting through them all, I made a startling realization- my ranking of the franchise was actually in release order! This has NEVER happened to me, and so I decided to change it up a bit. The ranking will start with the best and go to the worst, detailing some of my thoughts, praises, and frustrations.

WELCOME TO (my post about) JURASSIC PARK!

1. Jurassic Park- This film is my generation’s Star Wars, King Kong, etc. A landmark achievement from one of the best directors to sit in the chair. The story is disarmingly straightforward- a theme park is opening featuring dinosaurs brought to live through the science of closing. Our heroes are touring the park to sign off on the potentially dangerous project, when an act of corporate espionage turns the park into a nightmare of dino danger that everyone on the island desperately wants to escape from. This film works on so many levels. Alan Grant (Sam Neil), Ellie Sadler (Laura Dern), and Ian Malcom (Jeff Goldblum) are magnetic and relatable. Grant and Sadler are more down to earth, but Malcolm is a superstar, though all three attempt to warn John Hammond about the dangers of the park and the subsequent “playing god” Hammond and his company have done to achieve his dream. Throw in a couple of engaging kids, Grant’s evolution from kid hater to protector, and some great performances from the supporting cast including Wayne Knight, Samuel L. Jackson, and Richard Attenborough, and the human element just works on every level. BUT this is a dino movie, and that’s where JP shines brightest. Using cutting edge (at the time) CGI effects to compliment the best animatronics work to ever grace the screen, Stephen Spielberg crafted the most realistic monsters in film history. The CGI STILL holds up, and the dinosaurs FEEL real. The T-Rex attack is still astonishing to this day, and the raptors chasing the kids in the kitchen maintains its tension. From the first dinosaur the audience (and our group of heroes) sees to the last shot, Jurassic Park simply inspires awe. Accompanied by an amazing score from the incomparable John Williams, Spielberg achieves in reality what John Hammond seeks to in the film- he created magic and wonder for an entire generation. SCORE- 10/10.

2. The Lost World: Jurassic Park- This was a movie I was looking forward to quite a bit when it came out, as a kid I of course loved it. Interestingly, today it’s not really viewed all that positively. So when I went to rewatch it, I was prepared for the worst. But I was pleasantly surprised how well (parts of) it held up. Following Goldblum’s Ian Malcolm going to the breeding island of Jurassic Park- Site B- to rescue his girlfriend (Julianne Moore) who volunteered to go in order to document life on the island, Lost World features dinos in a complete ecosystem. The carnivores keep their territory away from the herbivores, etc. Add in Malcolm’s kid, and a slew of folks working for InGen (the company now responsible for the island) to capture dinosaurs for a new smaller version of Jurassic Park set to open in San Diego, and you have enough tension to drive the movie. The dual T-Rex attack on the trailer, the T-Rex attack on the camp leading into the infamous long grass inhabiting raptors, and the stark opening with the tiny compys attacking a little girl are stand out sequences. The ending, seemingly out of nowhere, sees the T-Rex run amok a city, clearly taking inspiration from the silent film The Lost World as well as King Kong. There are too many logic gaps in this installment, like the unexplained deaths of the people on the boat bringing the T-Rex and a gymnastic move beating a raptor, keep this film from being its predecessor’s equal. Additionally, the InGen characters just seem there to pad out the body count. Goldblum is hilarious, but needs a more engaging straight man like Allan Grant to play off. In the end, the film doesn’t reach the shock and awe of Jurassic Park, opting for sheer quantity of dinosaurs rather than a quality or truly engaging story. At its best, Lost World is entertaining, and when it’s fun, it’s a fantastic blockbuster. SCORE- 7.1/10

3. Jurassic Park III- Here we get one of the biggest surprises. I honestly thought I liked Jurassic World more than JP3. But the rewatch proved me wrong. This time the movie follows Allan Grant as he is tricked into going to Site B, eventually enlisted in the finding of a separated couple’s lost son. Our heroes then have to escape the island. Yes, the plot is paper thin, but this is a straightforward dino thriller, no more no less. It is true, this film contains a dream sequence with a talking raptor, Billy- the worst raptor egg stealing sidekick ever, and some fairly sitcom style humor from the couple (played wonderfully by William H. Macy and Téa Leoni). But beneath all of that, there are real stand out sequences here. The bird cage scene with the pteranodon in the fog is just spectacular. The spinosaurus doesn’t shine too often, but he’s a true threat in the water (where he belongs). Both of these dinos also reveal, in expanded material, that InGen engaged in genetically modifying their animals, in some cases making them bigger or changing them to be able to better live on land. Still, the spinosaurus is striking and stands out from the pack. The effects are at an all time low here, and even the practical effects don’t look as convincing. While the story may be stupid, the characters are down to earth and relatable. We’ve all seen (or even been) the separated couple. Grant regrets not telling Ellie how he feels (something I can’t forgive this movie for), and the kid lost on the island isn’t that obnoxious either. The cast anchors an otherwise forgettable story, and the main dinosaurs like the raptors and T-Rex play a bit of second-fiddle to the new additions. The ending is an excellent mirror of the first film, but the flaws are too big to ignore. SCORE- 6.1/10

4. Jurassic World- Yeah, this film wasn’t meant to be rewatched over and over again like some of the others in the franchise. Largely built on nostalgia, Jurassic World is essentially asking the question “What would happen if the world actually HAD a theme park with dinosaurs?” So we get to see that in action, and soon come to grips with the reality that the park and owners would have to push things even further to come out with new attractions. Enter the genetically created, wholly artificial Indominus Rex. She escapes, and all hell ensues. We are also treated to Owen (Chris Pratt) and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard), our new protagonists for this trilogy. Owen is a typical action hero, and Claire is the no-nonsense operations manager of the park. Essentially, they are archetypes, and their interplay harkens back to an uncomfortable time regarding work place harassment. Despite these interactions, Owen is likable and funny, and Pratt brings endless charm. Howard attempts to infuse her character with something resembling an arc, but the material doesn’t give her a chance. Instead she is defined by her relationships to the park, Owen, and her nephews. Still, she is a commanding screen presence, and time is better spent with her than her nephews. Character problems aside, this is still a dinosaur movie, so how does the film treat them? The short answer is- it varies. The Indominus is pretty cool looking, but like the other dinos practical effects are largely disposed of. It definitely looks unique though, a real movie monster waiting to break through. The T-Rex from the first movie shows up, and the final battle between her, the raptor Blue and the Indominus (plus one hungry mosasaur) is spectacular. But, it’s with the raptor that the film, and the new trilogy as a whole, makes the biggest misstep. Training raptors for military purposes is the dumbest idea the franchise has seen. Not only that, it essentially makes the raptors decidedly less threatening. No longer are they the terrifying monsters they were, but rather they like pet dogs. Even the poster shows how dumb this idea looks in practice. In theory, Jurassic World could have a clever, self-aware film about commercialism. Instead, it becomes something of a parody of itself, albeit an entertaining one, and it tends to pull on the nostalgia heart strings of its audience to great initial effect. After the ride is over, there’s not much else to be said other than- “Yeah I guess that was fun!” SCORE- 6/10

5. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom- I wanted to give this one a fair rewatch to make sure my rankings were made with sincere effort. I can say, without a doubt, this is the worst film in the franchise, though I would stop at saying it’s a bad film overall. J.A. Bayona directs the heck out of this movie, and at times its gorgeous. There’s not much that can be done to save this story though. The island is blowing up due to a volcano, and Claire wants to save them. She gets the opportunity, recruits a reluctant Owen, and then is betrayed by the very people who sent her there. Turns out they want to sell the dinos to nefarious characters of various backgrounds. Owen and Claire escape, and go to where the dino acution is occuring- a mansion owned by John Hammond’s old partner, albeit without that partner’s consent. Oh yeah and the mansion owner cloned his daughter, while the man running his company made the Indominus into the smaller Indo Raptor who chases our heroes throughout the mansion in true horror fashion after the Indo Raptor escapes (of course). In the end, the cloned girl releases the dinosaurs into the world after our heroes defeat the Indo Raptor on top of the mansion. The story is pretty convoluted as you can see. This is a tale of two movies- island disaster and haunted mansion. The two don’t mix, and meanwhile the audience has to suffer through a truly bizarre blood transfusion between a T-Rex and a raptor, Owen comically escaping lava, and a smiling Indo Raptor. The emotional core is hit or miss too- it’s truly sad to see the brachiosaurus go, but the attempt to recreate the awe of seeing dinosaurs fall flat. Blue’s (the raptor) bond with Owen is touching, especially when we see her as a baby, but there is NO connection made to the clone girl. Continuing the negative side James Cromwell plays Ben Lockwood (Hammond’s old partner) as a true idiot. He doesn’t realize there’s a dino auction going on in his house, and when he DOES find out, he actually tells the man responsible to pick up the phone and call the police on himself. Not surprisingly, this doesn’t end well for Lockwood because of course it doesn’t. The Indo Raptor looks menacing at times, and the opening sequence with the T-Rex and mosasaur is pretty fantastic. Bayona also uses flashes of light to fleetingly show the dinosaurs before they are fully revealed, establishing a really cool atmosphere. But these brief bits of cool aren’t enough to pick up the slack for over two hours of confused storytelling. What’s even worse, if THIS is the direction they wanted to go, did we even NEED Jurassic World? Why just blow up the islands, and move towards this new dino filled world from movie 1 of this trilogy. The cast is solid, the effects are good, but this is the definition of a dumb popcorn film. SCORE- 5.5/10

I don’t think there’s such thing as a BAD Jurassic Park film per se. There’s something thrilling about these dinos in every installment. You’ll notice my thoughts on the lesser entries are more detailed than my favorites. Honestly, so much has been written about the first three, I just didn’t want to tread old ground. The new ones are fresher, and a look at HOW they fit into the overall franchise was of great interest to me. I hope you enjoyed this article, sound off with your thoughts!