QUENTIN SMIRHES – I’m A Train (Albert Hammond)

Welcome to the world of Quentin Smirhes. Come hither and feast your eyes upon my bequeathments. Quentin is a character of Sean Reynard, a British artist born in 1971.

Picture Box, Sean Reynard and Quentin Smirhes

Bob Fischer, The Haunted Generation, June 1, 2019

A sinister, moustachioed individual with a medieval fringe and a skin-tight, mustard-coloured sweater. And black underpants. Tight, black underpants. Oh good god, the underpants.

It transpired to be the work of writer, film-maker and performer Sean Reynard, who – since then – has given his sinister handle-cranker a name (Quentin Smirhes) and cultivated a cottage industy of short, viral films, all spoofing the dustiest corners of the 1970s regional TV archive; where puppet choirboys are taught the rudiments of medieval instrumentation, where disembodied fingers poke from Heath Robinson birdboxes to the wistful, wobbly strains of Erik Satie’s Gnossienne No. 1; where the whispering, be-permed “Gentle Jeff” phones Facebook to softly request a “like” on “Samantha Wright’s photo of a baby eating a lemon.”.. [+]

Filmmaker Sean Reynard, while in his bespectacled, short-banged Quentin Smirhes (previously) character, performed a unique but amazing lip-synch to the incredibly to The King’s Singers complicated a capella version of the Albert Hammond song “I’m a Train” while dressed in a yellow turtleneck and a pair of oversized tighty-whities. Smirhes did his best imitation of a train during his performance.

“I’m a Train” is a song written by Albert Hammond and Mike Hazlewood and performed by Hammond. It was first recorded in French, in 1967, by Les Troubadours as “La chaîne”. The first English version was recorded in 1968 by a UK group called Colors of Love, which included singer Elaine Paige. Here are The King’s Singers performing their acapella cover of the song.

Look at me, I’m a train on a track I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah Look at me, got a load on my back I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah

Look at me, I’m going somewhere I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah Look at me, I’m going somewhere I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah, been a

Hard day, yes, it has been a hard day Yes, it has been a hard day, yes, it has I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, I’m a chucka train I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, chucka train, yeah

Look at me, I’m a train on a line I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah Look at me for the very last time I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah

It’s been a life that’s long and hard I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah I’m going down to the breaker’s yard I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah, been a

Hard day, yes, it has been a hard day Yes, it has been a hard day, yes, it has I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, I’m a chucka train I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, chucka train, yeah

It’s been a life that’s long and hard I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah Going down to the breaker’s yard I’m a train, I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, yeah, been a

Hard day, yes, it has been a hard day Yes, it has been a hard day, yes, it has I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, I’m a chucka train I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, I’m a chucka train I’m a train, I’m a chucka train, I’m a chucka train I’m a train, I’m a chucka train

I’m a train I’m a train I’m a, I’m a, I’m a train I’m a, I’m a, I’m a train