Proverbs 28:23 – Rebuke and Flattery

“Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor then he who flatters with his tongue” (Proverbs 28:23).

The value of flattery is a “goose-egg.” Flattery is not just going on and on about how great someone is, but flattery is doing that with a goal of manipulating that person into doing something for you.

Flattery is different from a compliment. A compliment could be truthful praise about someone else with the goal of encouragement. Flattery is conceited at its root.

Some examples of goals for the flattering lips might be to “bait” someone into giving you a compliment in return or gain favor.

Flattery does not help anyone advance in Christlikeness; it detracts from it. If you flatter another person, you are stealing the ministry of edification from helping strengthen their walk with the Lord.

On the other side, Solomon recommends the ministry of rebuke. Why? Rebuke is so much harder. Telling someone they have sinned and that they need to stop usually causes temporary or permanent friction. Who wants that?

At the heart of rebuke is others-centeredness. You don’t gain anything personally from rebuke, like one might do with flattery. Rebuke requires that someone get out of their comfort zone and say something that is beneficial to the sinner. The only gain you might acquire through rebuke is a deeper friendship with that sinner, and that is not prideful to have or pursue that.

Rebuke is sacrificially loving; flattery is self-serving.