Pondering Through the Screened Porch

I stared into the night feeling cold and tired.  I considered the silhouette of an enormous tree in the yard.  I felt the night.  It will always be there.  I thought about how people interact differently with society.  I wondered what I want and what I can contribute.

Love and happiness are my goals. Material possessions seem worthless in the sky. How beautiful the sky is!  As long as people act on their beliefs, I see a worthwhile contribution.

Individual accomplishments are worthless unless they are beneficial in some way to others.  Accomplishments often bolster confidence in a person but real progress improves others’ lives too.  I want to give of myself.  I need to be able to stand alone, in the hush of the night, look into the sky and understand it’s purpose as well as mine.

Stress and despair caused by trivial matters is a burdensome load to carry.  It is a consequence of not taking the time and effort to realize how fortunate we are, as well as, how much we have to offer others. Additionally, we have to face the painful recognition of love we are no longer giving or receiving, especially from friends who no longer live in our neighborhoods and those who have passed. Spending a lifetime listening and exchanging ideas with the people in my life motivates me.  Becoming confined by daily routines and the crusade to live up to the expectations of our peers is dangerous.  Without examining your behavior, you may find you are succeeding at becoming what you did not expect.  One must take a step back to properly examine their beliefs.  This enables a person to gain the perspective of a student of life, learning from history and applying personal experiences to make well thought out decisions to life’s daily enigmas. We do determine our future by the choices we make.  To not share and give of ourselves to the people in our lives is a waste.  Individuals receive respect from their peers because of their efforts, inner courage and morality.

Looking out the screen porch is like looking at a beautiful painting. The problem is that it gives the illusion of a perfect world that will survive without us. It does not demand we take action. Fortunately tonight, the harsh cold adds the requisite dash of reality. The dependable moon stirs a flame within me. To sit and gaze in awe and silence — to yearn to share this moment is necessary for my happiness.  If one desires little of what the world has to offer, it’s okay. Having enough money and time to live the life you want, does not necessarily help or enable a person to reach self-actualization.  Instead, it often serves to confuse the most important things in our lives. I believe them to be family, friends, and the continuing the struggle over any obstacle for what is right.

Those who came before us, and those who will live their lives after ours, will look out the screened porch.  What will they see?  Too often I see a world filled with pain and suffering. I see cruel acts against people desperately trying to survive. I see wonderful people leading empty lives and I see people I consider excellent role models. At times, I feel my actions’ conflict with my beliefs because of my desire to be what society considers, a “success.” To play the game of life for only competitive reasons is a shallow perspective. I yearn for more.  I yearn for love, beauty, and the ability to share with the people I meet.  Respect and interest in other peoples’ aspirations is an important part of achieving these goals.  I used to think I was a dreamer and unable to make a difference.  I have realized that time is short and I must act.

As Citizen Kane’s sled Rosebud illustrates, our goals and desires are attainable.  The key point is that we must have direction and purpose. Without goals that represent our beliefs and a plan on how to achieve them, even simple pleasures in life, such as a frigid autumn night can pass us by.  Apathy by an individual affects those who know them and the ripples are felt throughout society.  By acting on our beliefs we can make a difference. My approach is to be clear about my values, to do my best to understand others and to make meaningful contributions to my family, friends and community.  I plan on making the most of the gift given to me by a power greater than myself.