None of us can change the things we’ve done. But we can all change what we do next.

It’s an ongoing battle not to blame ourselves for where we are at, isn’t it? We’re unhappy and frustrated with crappy and unfulfilling jobs because we chose to stay. We think we don’t have career options because we chose to procrastinate on revamping our resumes and sending them out. We’re left holding the short end of a broken relationship because we chose not to see the warning signs. We’re unhappy with our health because we chose to skip the fruits and veggies we love and indulged in everything that’s unhealthy. We’re disappointed and fed up with ourselves because we were afraid to accept the fact that we have a problem with alcohol. So there it is: we only have ourselves to blame.

But then we realise ‘blame’ is too harsh a word. Yes, we are responsible for the choices we make, but owning up to those choices and then choosing how we react to the emotions and feelings they bring is also up to us. We can choose what we do next. We can choose to judge ourselves harshly and walk about cursing the day, scaring the hell out of small children and motorists. We can choose to wallow in self-pity and cry “It’s not fair!” into our pillows at night. We can choose to shut down or to rage against the day. We can choose to be victims or warriors and fight for the person we know we can become.

We can choose to understand that our feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration and disappointment are all indicators that we are not where we are meant to be. We can choose to man-up (or woman-up) and own and understand our feelings, not bury them or let them overwhelm us, but instead allow them to push us to make the necessary changes. We can choose to recognize that awareness is only half the battle, WILL is what will get us where we need to go. We can choose to accept responsibility for ourselves and get help. We can choose to stay the course and not give in. We are the only ones who can motivate ourselves to change our situations, whatever they may be. It’s up to us what we do next.

Love and light, Phoenix.

~*~

Prompted by this year’s AtoZ Challenge theme ‘Resilience’, here’s nine years sober, and counting… with some things to say, inspired by quotes from brilliant television series that resonate with me.

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