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Native American Wedding: Basic Guide
Love is in the air and I’m in the mood to share a tale of romance. In the summer of 2021, we had the honor of attending an American Indian wedding. People often ask me about my experience, curious about the traditions. I want to provide more insight into the recommended etiquette and customs that are practiced at American Indian weddings.
The Wedding Party: Who is involved in the ceremony?
The Bride and Groom – Kendall, my old coworker, was the bride and Richard Lungingbear, a spiritual leader, Sundancer, sacred dancer and story teller, was the groom. As a spiritual leader and Medicine Man he performs, weddings, funerals, naming ceremonies, prayer ceremonies, counsels people, teaches the children to reject drugs and alcohol. In addition, he makes native items ranging from headdresses to moccasins and so much more. Lungingbear is a member of the Powhatan tribe, the same tribe as Pocahontas. He invited everyone to come and learn the ways of American Indian culture.
Medicine Man – Every wedding needs an officiant and for American Indian weddings, that is the an elder leader known as the Medicine Man. Also known as healers, they hold wisdom about various natural substances and utilize them when carrying out ceremonial rituals.
Sponsors – In western-style weddings, bridesmaids and groomsmen are the ones who are responsible for assisting with anything related to weddings. For American Indian, sponsors perform those roles. They are older, well-respected people chosen engaged couple.
The Invitation: Who was invited to the wedding?
Once I was notified of Kendall and Lungingbear’s engagement, everyone was invited by word of mouth or on social media. I confirmed this with Kendall who told me to bring whoever I wanted. Naturally, I invited my boyfriend to be my date. People of all ages were invited to attend, including young children. Due to being an outdoor wedding, guests brought their dogs with them. In addition, drummers, dancers, and other entertainers came to share the amazing day with the couple and guests.
The Venue: Where was the wedding held?
It is important to know that circles are symbolic in Native American cultures. According to indigenous philosophy, everything from the sky, earth, and everything in the environment is circularly shaped. The strong connections to nature meant that the venue was set in the great outdoors so there was space to put together a sacred circle lined with tree branches. The sacred circle was the spot for dancers to perform and the couple to exchange their vows.
Although it did rain, we were able to take shelter under tents as the drummers continued to play music as we waited for the weather to change. Once the rain stopped, we were able to carry on and continue with the rest of the wedding.
Wedding Attire: What did everyone wear for the wedding?
The wedding attire worn by Native American couples is referred to as regalia. Regalia is traditional and sacred attire, paired with accessories that are worn for ceremonies, including weddings. Lungingbear, Kendall, sponsors, and performers were all dressed in regalia. Unlike traditional western-style weddings, brides in Native American brides typically wear bright colors.
The red dress that Kendall wore was made by the groom, Rich, and is one-of-a-kind. The beading detail was done by Kendall with the help of her friends. The beading on the lower front is a bear claw, that is Rich’s symbol and shows that she is his wife. Their regalia was meant to be worn for their wedding and will also be worn at the time of their death.
As for the wedding guests, the attire was informal and comfortable due to the hot summer day. As you can imagine, casual attire for a wedding felt strange to my boyfriend and me. However, when we arrived everyone was dressed very comfortably. For future wedding ceremonies, if no attire details are specified, I always recommend asking the couple to demonstrate respect.
The Wedding: What series of events are expected to take place?
The Giveaway
While the ceremony was set to start at noon, the Giveaway started a few hours earlier. Although I did some research, I was still unclear what to expect from the Giveaway. Upon arrival, we were guided through the wedding venue to a table of decorative items that were laid out. It turns out that the Giveaway is a Native American custom that involves the preparation and gathering of gifts to be offered to each wedding guest. We found some nice items to bring home!
As the day carried out, we noticed the biggest difference between a traditional Western-style wedding vs. a Native wedding. While a small specific group of people handle the responsibilities of traditional Western-style weddings, guests are expected to be a part of Native weddings. As guests were slowly arriving, everyone was working together to set up for the ceremony. Jackson had the honor of spreading a buffalo tarp in the center of and placing it in the center a circle of rocks. As a thank you, Lungingbear gave Jackson a dream catcher, a handmade woven meant to catch nightmares and only allow good dreams to pass. After everything was set in place, the Medicine Man proceeded to practice a custom called smudging.
Smudging
Smudging is the process of simultaneously reciting prayers and burning herbs and plants to cleanse negative energy, bring good fortune and protect people and places. The Medicine Man started with smudging the sacred circle, then the groom, performers, sponsors, and the bride. This was done to ward evil spirits away and allow happy thoughts to enter.
Dancing and Music
As many of you know, dancing and music play important roles in American Indian culture. The Gray Cloud Singers Northern Style Drum and Dance Group were invited to perform all day long. The stars were young kids who travel all over to put on shows for ceremonies. In addition, A flute player was also hired to play music.
The Basket Ceremony
Kendall told me that Natives don’t exchange rings, just baskets which contain spiritual items. The bride packs items in the grooms’ basket that she feels he will need to take care of her and the family during the marriage. The groom does the same preparation for the bride’s basket. For example, the knife in Rich’s basket symbolized hunting and the ability to feed the family. The awl in Kendall’s basket signified the making of his clothes while the blue corn signified cooking and the ability to feed him and the family. The snake skin represented the process of shedding the old to step into a new life together. These are just a few example of the many times of gifts that are chosen for Basket Ceremonies.
Name Change
One important announcement made was a new name to address the bride by. Lungingbear introduced his wife as “Little Eagle.”
Wedding Dishes and Desserts
Like all weddings, American Indian weddings are meant to keep the guests full. A few friends of the bride and groom hosted a BBQ. They had hotdogs, burgers, crackers, stews and even big turkey legs. At the end of the day, Lungingbear brought out a cake that was baked by his daughter.
Wedding cakes are not a typical part of American Indian weddings. However, Lungingbear’s daughter prepared a cake as a wedding present. Needless to say, our stomachs were stuffed by the end of the day.
Reflection:
Overall, we enjoyed our first (and hopefully not our last) American Indian wedding. The kindness of Lungingbear and Little Eagle is contagious and made us feel welcome in a sea of strangers. I appreciated that Lungingbear took the time to educate the guests on his culture and teachings. When you are invited to attend a special wedding like this, I hope that my guide can help you navigate through a new experience.
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