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Motivation Through Difficult Challenges
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. ”
– Walt Disney
Hi adventurers! I’m sorry that this blog is a day late. Sunday was quite a busy day for me and I was too tired to update it yesterday. But I wanted to make sure that this post would be ready right in the morning for all of you to read. With the exception of some frustrations, I have had a great week in China. I’m even more excited that I have officially completed my first month in China.
My first month in China has given me some perspective on what the rest of my year in China will be like. While there will be some exciting and fun moments ahead, there will also be struggles and challenges that will also be ahead unless I use a special tool to get through them. That tool is known as motivation. Honestly, my problem isn’t a lack of it, my problem is that I rarely use it to my advantage as a way to solve my frustrations. Motivation is a tool that I have but I need to push myself to start using.
Teaching English
Reasons for lack of motivation:
1. It’s too early! For most of the days every week, my first classes begin at 8 am. Even though I have no problem waking up before 8, I never was a fan of spending my mornings going to meetings, classes or anything that requires my full attention. Quite frankly, if I had the choice, I would rather either take a morning walk or lay in bed than go to class and lecture to 30-60 students.
2. It’s very intimidating. With ten classes of so many students, I am still nervous about teaching them every day to the point when entering the classroom is frightening to me. While I make sure to come to class ten minutes early, my students come even earlier, about THIRTY minutes early before class starts. Upon entering the room, all of their heads turn and I am hit with a wave of silence. Once class begins, it’s even harder for me to balance between teaching and paying attention to the displayed actions of my students.
3. Mixed motivation. While I do have students who are passionate about English, I also have students who could care less about it. Let me ask a question, if you were enrolled in an hour and a half class for a graduation requirement that you have little to no interest in and know that you have no final assessment upon completion, would YOU want to pay attention? You read correctly, not only am I not allowed to give homework but I don’t get to give them exams. In addition to that, every hour and a half class that I teach is only once a week. In each of my classes, I have a handful of students who either come to class late, text, do work for other classes, or talk while I’m lecturing. With the amount of students that I teach, It’s hard to assess whether they struggle with English or don’t care enough to try in my classes.
Reasons to motivate myself:
1. I like providing for myself. For my whole life, I’ve been very fortunate in terms of money. My parents not only paid for my college tuition but also paid for the travel-learning courses that were hosted by my university. They even paid for my flight to come to China. While I am thankful for their financial support, I’m happy to earn my own salary which I can control what I spend it on. Having this particular job teaching English abroad has made me feel much more independent and more confident about what I am capable of in the real world.
2. My students are compassionate. Despite all of the unmotivated students that I have, as people, they are extremely kind and friendly. In each of my classes, I have had students come up and ask for my QQ/WeChat number or to take pictures with me to send to their families. I’ve even had my Friday students (whom I met for the first time this week) come up and tell me that they thought my class was fun. Also three of my students gave me some of fruit that they bought simply because they liked me and my class. Five seconds later, Kang Kang gave me one of her moon cakes filled with red bean paste, my favorite!
3. I actually have fun teaching. Despite how early my classes are, despite how frustrated I can be with my students, I not only think teaching them English is fun but also very important. While some of my students might not do well in English, they are smart, I mean, they have to be if they are in a medical college. The school does have a reputation of producing many accomplished doctors and I always think to myself how great it would be if they could expand their job opportunities beyond just in China and maybe in some English speaking countries. Because knowledge of the English language can give my students an advantage in their medical careers, I want to offer as much education on the language as possible whether they like it or not.
How I motivate myself to enjoy teaching English:
Every morning before my class, I always dread getting dressed, walking ten minutes to the teaching building and nervous that my class won’t go as planned. However, I always remind myself how much fun I have had in my previous classes and that my students are not harsh critics. They never fail to show respect and kindness to me as a teacher and as a person.
Learning Chinese
Reasons for lack of motivation:
1. Fear of failure. While I have an extensive education on the language, there’s still much that I don’t know about natural Chinese conversations including appropriate vocabulary words, phrases and even native ways of pronouncing words. My average conversation starts with me saying/asking an appropriate sentence, receiving a response that I need lots of time to process, and after going back and forth, I either respond with a vague phrase like “好的” (good) or “對” (right) or nod with a smile. The more I fail to understand something in Chinese, the more discouraged I am to learn it.
2. My comfort zone is my happy place. I am thankful to have a VPN in China so I’m able to access Facebook and Youtube. However, lately I find that it is a disadvantage of mine in studying Chinese. It’s so easy after a long morning of teaching to retreat online to read or watch movies or shows in my native tongue. It’s also a way for me to stay connected to my friends and my country’s culture. Many of you probably think I’m crazy but as much as I love China, I find myself longing to return to the US and to a language that comes naturally to me.
Reasons to motivate myself:
1. Friendships. As I mentioned before, I have made so many wonderful friends at the college, most with people who struggle with English as much as I do with Chinese. Every one of my Chinese friends has been so generous and welcoming to me as a guest in their country. They have not judged me for my struggle with listening and translating and even use English when they can. I’ve thought of many ways to repay them for their kindness when one day I realized something. They have been doing all of this for me to feel more comfortable and at home, which means the ultimate way for me to feel at home is to become fluent in their native tongue. My effort to improve my Chinese would be my way of thanking them for their generosity and friendship.
2. My future and myself. Like many people who study Chinese, I think it will benefit my future. If I am able to become fluent, it will create more job opportunities for me, especially in the environmental field. Also because China is a growing nation, I want to be a part of their growth and impact on the world. However, personally learning Chinese is about more than my future, it is also about my past. Being half Chinese, I want to be fluent in Chinese so I can feel even more connected to my roots.
How to motivate myself to study Chinese:
In my classes, I’ll speak in English but I also use as much Chinese as possible so I can practicing my communication. While I constantly go on youtube, I have found many videos in English with Chinese subtitles which I use to write down a few phrases Chinese that I use daily to expand my vocabulary and grammar structures. I also watch some movies in Chinese and use a program called Pimsleur (I highly recommend for language listening comprehension) every day for 30 minutes. Of course when I am with my Chinese-speaking friends, I always use Chinese, no matter how intimidated I feel. I’ve realized that if I’m not having enough Chinese conversations with a few mistakes, then I am not immersing myself as much as I should be.
In addition, I am actually looking to enroll in the IES Summer Internship Program for all of August. In that program, I will not only be taking Mandarin classes but I will also have an internship in my desired field, in this case, the environmental one. While a bit pricey, my parents agreed to help pay for it since I told them that I would be receiving valuable internship experience and Mandarin instruction.
I think that we all have motivation for different reasons. It’s not that we lack motivation, it’s that we don’t know how to use it properly. Lately, I have motivated myself by reminding myself of my latest accomplishments.
My accomplishments since arrival in China include…
– Losing around 15 pounds from eating healthy and simple exercise. I feel proud since last time I was in China, I gained 10 pounds. (I will write a separate post on my tips on health in China).
– Drawing at least three figure drawing pictures I’m proud of. I’ve been very lazy with drawing this year so it’s nice that I’m finally getting myself into the swing of art again.(Again, I will post them in a separate entry).
– Buying a bike with the help of Emily and Matt which makes me feel more at home.
– Creating a personal list of words and phrases in Chinese that I use daily. This helps me feel more connected to the language and lets me express myself more when using it. These phrases include, “好樣的” (hao yang de) or “Good Job” and “你可以做到了” (ni keyi zuo dao le) or “You can do it!”
– Explored more of downtown Bengbu. This is an accomplishment for me since I have been to afraid to go downtown. Thankfully Emily and Matt have been a fun travel buddies. Emily even wants to go to the Sichuan province as well!
We set many goals for ourselves that we want to accomplish but often, never do. Sometimes we get so caught up in our failures that we are afraid to get what we want in life. While there are never short cuts to get what we want, the little accomplishments act as stepping stones to get where we want to be. In the end, that is the secret to activating our motivation.
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