Marks of Godly Sorrow

There is a difference between godly sorrow and worldly (or temporary sorrow). It is II Corinthians 7:8-11 where we see both forms of sorrow referenced.

“⁸ For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. ⁹ As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.

¹⁰ For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. ¹¹ For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter.”

Worldly sorrow IS real sorrow or sadness. If a young man is caught up in pornography and discovered, he may feel legitimately sorrow about his capture. He may regret his choices.

Worldly sorrow, however, is most concerned with what is lost (e.g., the ability to view pornography in secret).

As Heath Lambert writes in his book Finally Free, “Worldly sorrow is obsessed with keeping objects of selfish desire. All the tears and all the pain are actually about the loss of your stuff. You’re crying about the things you are about to lose and would like to keep. You looked at pornography because you were living life for yourself. Now you’re sad because you’re about to lose stuff that you would like to keep.” (pg. 34)

Godly sorrow is much different. It leads to genuine repentance – genuine change. And Lambert in his book explains that you can detect godly sorrow in six ways.

1. Godly sorrow is earnest. This is the person who is eager and ready to kill off the sin that has been entangling them. They are done making excuses.

2. Godly sorrow leads to an eagerness to clear yourself. With anyone (including God) where trust has been broken, the person cannot wait to do whatever is necessary to rebuild trust.

3. Godly sorrow leads to indignation. The person hates their sin, because God hates sin.

4. Godly sorrow leads to alarm. There is real fear that God knew and that sin could destroy their life and the lives of others.

5. Godly sorrow leads to longing and concern for restoration. The person wants to restore all broken relationships.

6. Godly sorrow leads to a desire for justice. The person is willing to accept all consequences of their sinful choices.

Worldly sorrow leads to death; godly sorrow leads to repentance.