Love, American (Marine) Style

So while I started really digging into leadership as it affects coaches, I wrote a ton of stuff. One of the bits was 5-4-3-2-1. For this post, it’ll be important to go read that one first.

Now that you’re back, and not overly relevant–the title is a cultural reference from 1970 or so. I couldn’t think of a great title and that old show popped into my mind, so here we are. For what it’s worth, the show had a catchy theme and it was where “Happy Days” originated as a show.

So now, we hit a different decade and ask Tina Turner’s question.

Ok…now I’ve got that out of my way and you have an earworm.

So what does love have to do with it? Quite a bit actually.

How often do you use the word love? Do you use it with your family? Your athletes? What about towards administrators and officials? Do you mention it in regards to other coaches and their commitment to your sport and/or young people?

What I have found is that we are conditioned to NOT use the word ‘love’ in 99% of circumstances where it is a one-on-one conversation. Think about your reaction if I told you I told a college freshman “I love you”–you’d immediately go to the administration to report an improper relationship. That’s understandable. The problem is it keeps us from using a very powerful word and repressing a powerful emotion.

SO isn’t it weird it’s on a ‘Top 5’ list from a Marine General? “I love you.”

It doesn’t have to be about amore or attraction. Love is about an attachment based on admiration and mutual interest in a subject. It is about devotion to a cause. It is about loyalty and concern for others. You’ve used ‘love’ in those senses previously but as a leader you hesitate to use the word when describing relationships.

Should we change that?

We can–even if we can’t use the word itself regularly.

• I love the effort you put in to practice today.

• I’m so happy we shared two hours of time together with a great practice.

• I appreciate how you took charge during that last drill.

• We cherish your contributions in the locker room.

• You know, I admire how you come up with solutions to the toughest problems.

• I respect the way you look out for our program.

All of these could use the word ‘love’ (only the first does). They ALL are about love.

So:

• If you are a coach reading this–I love you.

• If you are reading this ‘just because’–I love you.

• If my writing makes you think/consider other perspectives–I love you.

• If you are working to get better for the sake of young people in your charge–I love you.

• If you are working on things for your own children or a spouse–I love you.

And now, as I am much older and no longer have to worry about career advancement or matters of ego–it’s easier to say all that. I hope you are able to say ‘I love you’ in a billion different ways to your athletes, your co-coaches, your athletic trainers, and maybe even an administrator or two.