Lingam Massage

(information on the lingam massage issue were taken from news articles published in globalnation.inquirer.net, sunstar.com and cdn.ph)

Our little discussion earlier on lingam massage got a lot of reactions from people so I decided to post about it.  Before yesterday, I didn’t even have any idea what the hell a lingam massage was.  I knew about “happy endings” (or so I’ve been told), but I’ve never heard of an almost spiritual approach to massaging the “love hammer”.  But I get ahead of myself.  Yesterday on Twitter, Carlos Celdran posted a picture of a sign in Cebu advertising lingam massage. He too was asking what the heck it was.  A lot of people posted comments on the lingam brouhaha in Cebu.  Apparently, many people protested the proliferation of lingam massages in many spas and massage parlors, so much in fact, that some Japanese, Korean and Chinese tour operators allegedly started to include lingam massages as part of their tour packages in the Philippines.  A women’s group and the spa organization of Cebu got into the matter at once and started closing spas offering this service due to lack of sanitary permits and health cards.  Many legit spa owners fear that people might perceive spas as fronts for prostitution.

But some owners of spas offering lingam massage defended their practice by saying that it is an accepted form of massage in places like Egypt, Thailand, New York, California, London, and even strict countries like Singapore and Malaysia.  They stressed that authentic lingam massage is not about sex, but about healing and therapy.  And unlike some less reputable massage establishments, real lingam therapists do not allow themselves to be touched back by their clients.  They reiterate that in many countries, lingam massage is accepted, legal, and not considered an illicit act of sex.

So what’s the big deal?  Well, the fuss is basically about the part of the body that’s being massaged.  Lingam is a sanskrit word meaning: “wand of light”, which refers to the male dinglehopper.  The goal is to massage the lingam (or the birdy-bird), the testes (yagbadoodles), the perineum (the pateros, “kasi bagsakan ng itlog”), and the Sacred Spot or the prostate (massaged from the outside, not via the poop chute).  The goal is not to “reach the peak”, but it is an acceptable side effect if needed.

So you see, it’s all very subjective.  If you’re into Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, then it’s a blissful therapeutic experience.  If you’re a regular guy who’s not into the esoteric arts, it sounds awfully like a handjob.  Plus, I think it will really depend on the client.  Even if say, the therapist is serious about her craft, and really studied and mastered the craft of lingam massage, if the client is some douchebag who’s just out for  a cheap thrill, then it doesn’t really matter what the intentions of the therapist may be, the only thing he cares about is to get his release.  So it’s a case of pearls before swine.  Practitioners can’t tell for sure which of their guests are authentic clients curious about the practice, and which are just DOM’s who want a “legitimate” way to get their rocks off.

So the debate rages on.  It may be legal and accepted in other countries, but the Philippines is still on the fence.  There are those who deplore it, and those who defend it.  Only the public can dictate which way popular opinion will swing.  It might take a lot more time for people to accept this practice, especially in a country that still attaches a lot of stigma to massage parlors due to the proliferation of “extra services” and “happy endings” in sleazier versions of spas.

I was wondering if YouTube has a video on lingam massage, knowing that they’re so strict on sex and nudity, but I found one!  It found a funny way to make it safe for public consumption.  It’s turned out unintentionally hilarious: