Jon Snow; He Truly Knew Nothing.

SPOILERS are coming!

Season 5 of Game Of Thrones has firmly established that there is no hope. That hope is bound, gagged, most likely violated before having its testicular region mutilated. Nobility, honour, valour; these are all just measured inflections of futility. The only voice of clear, coherent distinction on the wall is gone and watching my girlfriends mortified expression slowly contort, eyes jostled by precipitating ducts only strengthens this resolve. Is this just a very shrewd strategy or do they simply hate us?! Firstly Stannis is (presumed) dead. Stannis wife suffocated due to an ill-advised ascent of a tree that somehow resulted in her neck getting caught in the noose of a carelessly discarded rope (that’s open to interpretation I’ll grant you). Brieene of Tarth proves that she really is the most neglectful knight in the seven kingdoms. Arya inherits Trant’s visual infirmity. Jamie Lannister’s Darth Vader parody concludes with his hope of becoming father of the year dashed by another of his illegitimate children being poisoned. Reek and Sansa recreate Peter pan. And Cersei partially renounced her indiscretions and was pardoned, pending further investigation, with a naked stroll through streets of Kings landing, similar to most London drunks on a Sunday morning. It was also a finale that omitted so many integral characters and a conclusion that felt rushed. Whereas much of this season’s significances were gradually paced like a grandfather reciting the ingredients that make up his medication, episode 10 concluded much like Jeremy Clarkson showing attendants round an art exhibition.*Dong* shame. No this isn’t the sound of a nun humbling Cersei during her walk of atonement, but rather this unrequited penance is a referral to a certain “bastard” and reason for girlfriends remorse.

“Jon Snow is dead. Long live Jon Snow?”

Now there is solid evidence to support that Jon snow, the tentative hero in otherwise grey world is dead. The camera cruelly lingering over his gapped mouth, his matted hair nestles meekly in the blood stained snow as his life force trickles from stab wounds he sustained certainly indicates that he is dead. Neutralised by the pretences of a disillusioned child that instigates a sudden, if not all that surprising castigation of the Nights Watch commander, as the mutinous cabal punish Snow for soliciting access to their enemies, his intimate collaboration with the Wildlings and thus he’s desertion of his sworn oaths as a Nights Watch delegate. Though wouldn’t it of made more sense to relieve him of his duties? Shouldn’t Alliser Thorne have denied access to Jon and the Wildlings when they came knocking? Well logical diplomacy has never been game of thrones style I guess. But you can’t help but feel angered by Jon’s inability to accurately convey the severity of the potential Whitewalker threat?! Jon Snow’s protestations have always been rather vaguely defined, adhering to unsubstantiated hearsay as validation for his actions. He expressed his overarching intentions with little curated resolve and having granted permission for his only confidant (Sam) to abscond to the citadel, Jon possessed no one that could ably pacify the tempered fragility of his brothers. Of course the how’s, why’s and what ifs are all academic. He is dead, but for how long? The Most observant theory lies with the convenient proximity of the red priestess.

“There she goes again. Flashing here breasts to any old commander. Reminds me of a girl I knew?!”

Unless Melisandre’s successful utilisation of blood magic has just been a series of elaborate conveniences, with premonitions and prophesied impending darkness were more conjectural guess-work, and her frequent intimacy with anyone with a “sheathed sword” were simply ways of alleviating the tedium of strategic warfare? The shadow baby she conceived could simply be sentient effluences from a particularly spicy Westerosy curry? So we can comfortably assume that 1. Witch’s can quiff and 2. She must utilise preventative measures to placate the permanency of Jon’s demise and expedite a late reprieve after she barbecued a child (Shireen kebabs?). Of course this is all theoretical pandering, straying from the philosophy of ubiquitous conceits (some are better than others), to far more absurd hypothesis that vary in ascetic affirmation. But there is very little indication of his eventual rebirth other than assumptions and hope (that word again), but Martin is a canny writer, one determined to eradicate the banality and economised sophistication associated with literary fantasy, where prevailing heroism are easier to define. But it’s hard to believe that Jon’s story is resolved considering that his story arc has been tempered through the novels and series with contrasting similarities, notably addressing key elements that have been surreptitiously intimated in both.

Why emphasis the significance of his parentage if it’s merely an expendable utility? Why portray interactions with characters that so casually remark on antiquated tales with blatant anecdotal references to characters we haven’t seen or serve any relevant purpose to the current story? If Jon Snows death is final, then his entire story arc is thematically redundant! It’s difficult to ignore the strongly overt foresight of others either. With Jon seeking Maester Aemon’s council and being advised “Kill the boy and let the man be born”. You even have Sam almost winking to the camera when he assures Olly (that little butt crack!) that “Jon always comes back”. It all seems too overt to be overlooked. Or perhaps that’s what we are supposed to believe, I just don’t know! Jon Snows fate will be a hotly contested debate for some time, with every inconceivable postulation being conducted in the deepest recesses of the internet until confirmation is finally committed to screen or page. I guess my watch begins then?

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In case you feeling a little down, why not listen to Jamie Lannisters song of incest. Enjoy!