Iowa State: The Motorcycle and the Blowup Doll

’86-87 again.

Floors were run by RAs, resident assistants. They could be a pain, they could cause problems via incompetence–and sometimes you got really good ones. It was hard to know right away. The first few weeks was a feeling out process–same as every other relationship at the start.

For the 86/87 year, we wound up with a great one: Mike O’Connell. He understood the difference between shenanigans and real trouble. He respected everyone on the floor–and it was returned to him. With guys, you know this is true when you include the ‘authority figure’ in your pranks and general stupidity.

If I remember correctly, it was about a month after the water tube incident. Mike had a night class where he’d be away for three hours. Plenty of time.

At some point during the year, someone left a broken motorcycle in the parking lot west of State Gym which was on our walk from Westgate to Friley for food. It was there for months. It’s weird to think of that now. ISU Campus Police never towed it away. They left it there.

I should mention that at some point, one of the guys on our floor came into possession of a blow-up doll/sex toy. That was Roger. I don’t recall how he acquired it. Roger was a good guy–always up for shenanigans. Anyways, at some point, we realized Mike hadn’t been pranked. At some point, in some fashion, everyone else had been. The question was how to get Mike.

My only contribution was noting that the best window was while he was at class–plenty of time to do whatever. I actually think it was Ron Silverio who thought about the blow-up doll and suggested posing it somehow with Mike. That wasn’t possible–Mike was never drunk or anything like that (to the point of passing out at least). That was when conversation turned to the construction of Westgate.

See–Westgate was designed to be a square Quonset hut–it was put together pretty much with nothing but sheet metal, girders, screws, and bolts. Above each of the room doors, there happened to be a screwed-on panel. Pretty large panel, actually. Big enough that someone could fit through it.

Now we were in business–yes, technically, this was breaking and entering. It’s college, so *I’m waving my hand in the air here dismissively* whatever…it doesn’t count. We had access to Mike’s room. We had three hours. Now what?

We all knew the usual stuff–fire extinguishers discharged, stuff turned upside down…all done to death. We needed unique. Even though it was Ron who noted Roger’s blowup doll, I think it was Roger who commented about the possibility offered by the motorcycle. After that, it was easy to put two and two together.

We waited for Mike to go to class and then removed the screws from the panel and dropped someone into the room. Chris Libby? Ron? I don’t remember. Once inside, the burglar opened the door for us and…remember the motorcycle? Yeah, while we were breaking in, we had a group of 4-6 people go out to the parking lot and push the cycle into Westgate and then manhandle it up to the third floor.

–It says something about Westgate, I think, that I have no memories of comments about strange looks or anyone inquiring. Once again, they just took this as more Foster stupidity. Which it was, of course!

We moved the motorcycle into his room and then put the blowup doll on the motorcycle. I think a couple pictures were taken but this was the 80s…not the 21st century. Cameras weren’t everywhere. And then, the panel was replaced and the door locked and we waited for Mike to return. Everyone knew and was casually hanging around the hall when he got back to see the reaction.

It was a good laugh. Mike took it in good fun. All I remember other than that was him noting, “Okay, you guys moved it in here, now get it out.” And that was that.

Pretty harmless.

2/3 of a lifetime ago now almost. It’s a moment worth writing about–still brings a smile to my face. Ideally, the same for anyone else reading this.