Inside Out (2011) Artie Mandelberg

Production Budget: $2 million

Gross: Unknown on exact figures

We return with our old friends WWE Films.  Now I actually don’t go into these automatically disposed to hating them (well, most of them I suppose).  In fact the last one I reviewed (That’s What I Am) was good.  Well, maybe not good but decent.  Well, it didn’t make me want to kill myself like The Chaparone.  Anyway…

The point is I’m not opposed to Vince McMahon getting into the movie business but I suppose I’m befuddled as to what his goals are.  Keep in mind, this is a person who runs a professional wrestling organization who has deluded himself into thinking he is running a “sports entertainment industry“.  McMahon seemingly wants to plug his pro wrestling product without actually acknowledging he does pro wrestling.  Inside Out is a perfect example of this schitzophrenic thinking that is going on here.  Inside Out is a “psyhological thriller“ about an ex con who wants to live a clean life but is drawn in by his screw up violent friend.  To have a person who dresses as Conan and who’s gimmick is he spits water be anywhere near something labeled “psychological thriller“ is a recipe for disaster.  I must have said every time I review one of these films that I don’t mind having wrestlers in films so long as you play to their strengths.  See No Evil may have sucked donkey balls but that is not the fault of Kane.  I believed he could play a freakishly large psycho killer.  I recently saw Scorpion King 3 (which is not a WWE Film) which had Batista as an undead gladiator.  I have no problem with Dave Batista being a roided up sword swinging gladiator.  I do have a problem though when you get Triple H and put him in the Matt Damon role from Rounders.  You need to choose one Vince: either produce good independent movies with no ties to the WWE, or make Z grade action schlock starring your non-acting muscle heads. It’s one or the other here.

Now to be way more fair to Triple H than I probably should be, I will say his performance is not embarassing.  Working for so long in the WWE has taught him to deliver lines somewhat natually and to have a sliver of personality.  This performance ceratinly could have been worse.  However, that by no means is a statement that this is a good performance.  Whenever Levesque has to go beyond his limited range things do get a bit laughable.  There is a scene where Arlo‘s (HHH) friend Jack (Michael Rappaport) shoots someone right in front of him.  This is supposed to be a really dramatic scene because Arlo has been trying to stay clean and Jack has put him square in the middle of covering up a murder.  Arlo should be in complete shock yet the emotion on HHH’s face I can only describe is mild irritation.  I would expect the same kind of reaction if Jack were to spill his soda on Arlo’s jeans.  It never feels like Arlo’s life is spiraling out of control so much as it feels like he misplaced his keys and he has to beat morning traffic.

The wrtiers try to make a serious thriller, but there are some really questionable decisions.  Okay so the story is supposed to be that Arlo is trying to lead a clean life but Jack tragically lures him back in.  That’s all well and good but the way they write it is almost comedic.  Arlo is at a bar where Jack is shaking down someone who owes him money.  Jack pulls out a gun to scare the guy, Jack sneezes, and the gun goes off killing the man.  To quote another wrestler “Are you serious bro!?“  The movie also tries to be realistic and not have any action scenes or over the top stuff.  Yet for some reason there is this female mad bomber ninja who goes around kicking everyone’s ass.  I can’t believe I just had to type that.  You also have this extremely out of place fourth wall breakage by Jack’s character despite the fact this is Arlo’s story and they never do anything with it.  Really after the mad bombing ninja the fourth wall breaking narration doesn’t seem as bad.

Don’t let that all that stuff fool you though, this movie is boring.  The dialog is horribly flat, there is no action,  the story is uninteresting, and the entire movie is predictable from the box cover.  There is no intrigue, there is no reason to care, there is no reason to stay awake.  The whole movie is supposed to be driven by the fact we like Arlo and want to see him get out of trouble but he is so lifeless and dull.  All he does is lurch around the house grumbling about how prison sucked and makes pickles.  Yeah, that is the biggest character trait we are given about Arlo; he makes pickles.  I could talk more about the annoying performances by Parker Posey and Michael Rappaport or about the drab direction or any number of things but I don’t care anymore.  No one cares.  I don’t even think the actor’s families were polite enough to watch this for them.  This is a movie that has already been forgotten and rightfully so.  There is no reason for anyone tobother with this bland crap.