Inactive Love Is Not Love

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love” (Proverbs 27:5).

Say what, Solomon? How can this be true? How can anything trump love? Isn’t love the most important virtue? (I Corinthians 13) Didn’t Jesus say that people would know we are His disciples by our love for one another (John 13:35)? Jesus didn’t say people would know we are His disciples by how we rebuke each other.

First, we must understand that rebuking another person in sin can be a loving act. I say “can”, because if we do it out of selfishness (e.g., wanting to “feel better about ourselves” or someone compels us to rebuke but our motivations are not good), than it is difficult to say a rebuke is loving.

On the other hand, telling something the truth – even about their sin – can be one of the most loving words we speak to someone else. The psalmist refers to a rebuke as a blessing and source of joy to those who need to hear it (Psalm 141:5). Even Solomon would say that rebuking another can make you more favorable in their sight…if they receive it well (Proverbs 28:23). Rebuking can and should be a loving act.

Second, we must ask the question? How is an honest rebuke better than hidden love? It seems like the key to unlocking this wisdom is the word “hidden.”

The Hebrew word means “concealed” “unnoticed.” Something concealed does not show its true self.

For example, if I had the ability to always make a basket everytime I threw a basketball even near the hoop, but I never showed anyone or even shot a basketball, everyone would rightly say, “He is wasting his ability that God gave him!” And everyone would be right.

Hidden love is unexecuted love. It is someone who says, “I really love you,” but not enough to tell them what they need to hear. In essence, hidden love is not actual love.

So, which is better? Answer – it is better to tell someone what they need to hear than knowing what they need to hear and never saying anything about it. One is loving; the other is the opposite.