In Praise of Anne Beatts and “Square Pegs”

It’s been so long (over four years) since I’d posted in the “Forgotten Shows of My Nonage” section of Travalanche that I’d almost forgotten that it existed. In fact, I may have forgotten — I bet I’ve done some posts that belong there without tagging them. At any rate, this one goes there, and I can’t believe it’s taken me this long.

Before we get to the show, though, I want to give some attention to its legendary creator Anne Beatts (1947-2021). At present, she’s probably just legendary to the cult who know about her, but among these, she is justly revered. Beatts was one of the original writers of Saturday Night Live from the show’s 1975 launch until the turnover in 1979. The female writers on SNL were largely responsible for generating material for the female cast members, so if you cast your mind back to certain moments starring Jane, Laraine, and Gilda, odds are good that Beatts had something to do with it. Especially the most dangerous stuff.

Beatts was the girlfriend of the gonzo SNL headwriter Michael O’Donoghue. She had come to the show with him from the National Lampoon, where she was most notorious for cooking up the fake ad with a floating Volkswagen with the caption, “If Ted Kennedy drove a Volkswagen, he’d be President today”. Stuff on SNL she cooked up included those sketches where Buck Henry played a pedophile babysitter, and the spot where Gilda Radner advertised a product called Jewess Jeans (especially risque since Beatts converted to Judaism!). Those were different times. She also cooked up what was one of my very favorite recurring sketches on SNL at the time, the ones where Bill Murray and Gilda were a couple of high school nerds. Being a high school nerd myself at the time, I was most enthusiastic about the representation and would gleefully re-enact the routines at school the next week.

In retrospect it makes perfect sense that the creator of the nerd characters also created the 1982 sit-com Square Pegs. At the time, though, who knew from creators? It wasn’t until years later that I pinned down who was responsible for these things. At any rate, Square Pegs ran for only 20 episodes, but I was a rabid fan of it, being a senior in high school at the time. Basically it was centered on two freshman high school girls who were social misfits, played by future star Sarah Jessica Parker and Amy Linker, who later retired from show business. I am chagrined when people list later credits for Sarah Jessica Parker as being the moment when she “made it”. Not in my book, Jack, and I experienced the chronology in real time. That said, the one I totally had the hots for was Tracy Nelson (daughter of Ricky, granddaughter of Ozzie and Harriet) who played a Valley Girl type. (For a time, I mixed her up with Moon Zappa, as she appeared on her dad’s song “Valley Girl”, which came out at around the same time). (Not to digress too much, but SNL‘s Laraine Newman was probably the first to popularize a Valley Girl character. The now forgotten Gail Matthius did one too, one of the few bright spots of Season Six). I also really loved Merritt Butrick as this New-Wave loving dude named Johnny Slash, kind of a prototypical skate punk type character. (This was several years before the emergence of the Guns N’ Roses guitarist. The origin of his nickname is a whole other post). Butrick, who later went on to appear in Star Trek movies, sadly died of AIDS before the decade was out. There was also a stereotype preppy character named Muffy played by Jami Gertz. Her dad was played by Tony Dow of Leave it to Beaver.

The show was meta in that way. There was some in stuff that theoretically spoke to Boomers, but above all it seemed geared to kids my age (Gen X) who had some modicum of fuckin’ taste. The theme song was by The Waitresses, and they appeared in the first episode performing “I Know What Boys Like” at the school dance. The show had references to my favorite bands like Devo, The B-52s, and The Clash. (It was a struggle in those days, the cool music always seemed to get drowned out by generic-sounding stadium rock groups with names like Toto, Foreigner, Survivor. The very names of these groups make me slip into a coma). The show also had cool guest stars like Martin Mull, and Bill Murray and Father Guido Sarducci from SNL. Beatt’s writing partner from SNL, Rosie Shuster also wrote for Square Pegs, as did a young Andy Borowitz. (I later got to interview Borowitz for the Village Voice about 20 years ago, although not about this show. At the time, I didn’t know he’d written for Square Pegs, for I surely would have mentioned it!)

Square Pegs debuted only a month after Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which I also loved, was released to theatres. I’m overdue to write about that (I’ve seen it about ten times), but don’t worry, it’s coming! What’s especially galling is that almost immediately after this, Beatt’s fellow National Lampoon alum John Hughes began doing his string of somewhat derivative teen movie comedies and today gets credit for inventing something that already existed. Ain’t that always the way?

Square Pegs was too cool for school, and that’s surely why it was canceled after one season. Beatts next wrote the book to the Broadway show Leader of the Pack (1985) and produced the first season of the sitcom A Different World (1987). She wrote episodes of shows like Shelley Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theatre and Murphy Brown. She taught writing for years and directed the series John Waters Presents Movies That Will Corrupt You (2006).

Beatts gave great interview. Reading her interactions with reporters immediately conveys a sense of her comic voice, which verged on outrageous while also being charming. Here are three great ones I found:

Vanity Fair

Vulture

The Television Academy

For more about show business historyconsult No Applause, Just Throw Money: The Book That Made Vaudeville Famous, And please stay tuned for my upcomingElectric Vaudeville: A Century of Radio and TV Variety.