How to know if someone is lying

This is a guide on how to spot a liar and no, it doesn’t involve buying a polygraph machine.  I’ve read and listened to everything on this topic that I could get my hands on.  One of the best sources I found is Susan Carnicero, a lead investigator for the CIA.

Why pay attention?  This is not for your significant other.  It is for interviewing candidates in the workplace, understanding children, evaluating sales pitches, and so much more.

Notable facts – A person lies an average of 10x a day.  It can be as simple as, “how are you today?”  The response, “fine” because primarily you don’t feel like discussing your  headache.  A typical person speaks around 120-150 words per minute.  The brain goes 10x faster but it’s hard to measure because we don’t think in words, we think in concepts.

Liars avoid mentioning themselves and are overly negative.  They also include unnecessary details in drawn out explanations.  If you’re not sure about a story you’re hearing, ask them to start from the beginning.  They will be trapped by all their unnecessary detail (this works well).

The keys to determine the veracity of statements center around timing and clusters.  To determine a lie, you need to see deceptive behavior within the first 5 seconds of a question.  Clusters are more than one deceptive behavior in response to a question (two or more behaviors).  If you see one indicator they may not be lying.  If you see several, you’re on to them.

Six keys:

Analyze vs. speculate – don’t guess based on posture, look and listen for behaviors based on the question asked.

Manager your bias – if you look for truthfulness, you’ll find it and miss important cues.  Listen to the response given and observe behaviors.

Recognize evasiveness – did they answer the question you’ve asked for?  Also, exclusionary qualifiers beg for a follow-up question.  Examples are: honestly, to tell you the truth, frankly, for the most part, fundamentally, and not really.)

Aggression – attacking the questioner.  This is big.  When a person goes from 0-100 in a few seconds it is a major tell.

Convey vs. convince –  The most important thing to any person falsely accused of

something is denial.  The other end of the spectrum, is a convincing statement.  This is the strongest indicator.  “I’m a good person.”  “What have I ever done to make you think that?” “Everybody likes me,” and I’ve done so much for this company.”  People can talk for 10 minutes trying to convince you without answering the question.  Furthermore, repeating statements and invoking religion are also strong signs.

Understand non-verbal cues – many questions don’t need time to answer.  “Did you rob the Bank of America branch?”  You shouldn’t have to think long about that.  Watch for behavioral pauses, no response for 5+ seconds, and anchor point movements.  Feet are always an anchor point.  Moving in response to a question: grooming gestures, fixing a tie, touching of hair, looking at watch, tapping fingers, and hands to the face are all indicators.  Liars look up and to the right when they are lying.  When they are done lying then regain eye contact to see if you are buying what they are selling.

Reference guide – the more people talk, the worse it is. Wait 3-4 seconds between questions – just South of uncomfortable.  This does work on the phone although you lose non-verbal cues.

• Minimal self-reference

• Negative language

• Simple explanations

• Convoluted phrasing

Here’s how you test your new skills – watch politicians testifying under oath in congressional hearings (if you dare).

Look at Susan Smith’s statements (the woman from South Carolina who killed her two sons by driving her car into a lake and then went to the police claiming her car was carjacked).  Also, examine Scott Peterson’s statements when he was asked if he killed his pregnant wife Lacy.

Additionally, there are many great YouTube videos on this subject.  Please leave a comment and share this with your friends if you find this guide helpful.