House 2: The Second Story (1987)

Director: Ethan Wiley

Starring: Arye Gross, Jonathan Stark, Royal Dano

The new owner of a sinister house gets involved with reanimated corpses and demons searching for an ancient Aztec skull with magic powers.

Oh, hell, where do I even start with this one? ‘House 2: The Second Story’ has no idea what it wants to be. It is completely unfunny as a comedy, far too stupid to be a horror, and then they added fantasy elements with dinosaurs and even Western!!

Everything about this mess of a film is just preposterous! The film starts with a young couple giving away their baby boy, and soon after they are being killed by a mysterious dark figure asking for ‘the skull’. The film then jumps ahead in time 25 years and sees Jesse and his spoilt singer girlfriend Kate arriving at the mansion. We safely assume Jesse to be the baby from back then.

Entering the huge mansion, the first thing Jesse notices is “something missing” (the skull) from what looks like an ornament. Why would he even think there was supposed to be something else there? Why would he even notice this insignificant ornament in this huge mansion? And then, its too much of a coincidence that he stumbles upon information on the skull, and becomes obsessed with it. Him constantly uttering thoughts out loud was annoying and unnatural. This guy needs to see a shrink!!

Soon after his friend Charlie and girlfriend Lana arrives. Jesse and Charlie then goes on a quest to find the skull, and they manage to find it with incredible ease!! They also inadvertently resurrect Jesse’s great great grandfather. And then they also soon discover the mansion is a house with alternate universes…

But this is just the start of a script that had me cringing all the way to the credits!! I absolutely hated this movie – every single minute of it!! It is beyond stupid with bad acting, bad visuals, bad effects, bad script, just bad everything! This was by far the biggest load of garbage I’ve seen in a while! Total crap!!

Surprisingly, ‘House 2: The Second Story’ earned $10 million on a $3 million budget.

Would I watch it again? UGH!!!!