Grieving Parents

“A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.” (Proverbs 17:25)

Is there anything more encouraging to a parent than to see one of their children living for the Lord, making wise decisions, and representing Christ in faithful ways? That kind of parental gratitude is captured with the Apostle John’s similar expression in III John 4 – “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

And if this brings great joy to a parent, the opposite must also be true. A child that walks away from the Lord, rebels against his parents and makes regular, selfish decisions is a grief, as Solomon has written.

It’s greatly disappointing because of the investment that parents make in their kids. And I am not talking about financial investment, although that is significant. The average cost today to raise a child to the age of 17 is $233,610.

The kind of investment I have in mind is teaching, instruction, moral education, etc.

When we work hard as parents to expose our kids to truth, a biblical worldview and Christian ethics only to see them walk away from the very things that will save them, it leads us parents to grief and potential bitterness.

So, what can be done about this predicament?

Well, to be honest. Not much. You cannot control the hearts of your kids. Sure, you can manipulate them into certain behaviors, but foolishness is a choice every person makes.

What you can do is continue to pray for such estranged children. You can remember that until God takes them from this world there is still an opportunity for them to repent and change the trajectory of their life. There is still time for them to be the prodigal child. You can still love them. Your kids will always be your kids. No legal document will ever change that.