Great River Road, 2022

Who wants to learn about the MN/WI portion of what is known as The Great River Road, the highway that hugs the Mississippi River?

Welllll this is what you’re getting regardless of your enthusiasm level. But I promise it’s interesting so settle on in.

First: why did we go here? Well, if COVID taught us nothing else, it’s that there’s a lot of great stuff to be found within an easy drive of home that we always somehow neglected to visit in the past. Also: who doesn’t want to check out a historic route with ancient cliffs on one side, a legendary river on the other, and some kitschy small towns in Minnesota and Wisconsin along the way?

We ended up taking this trip during the kids’ three-day Fall Break from school, so it was late October when we hit the road up the Mississippi. Most of the fall foliage had finished its show by that point, but it was still quite pretty (to me at least).

We decided to make Fountain City our home base for this trip – it was nice and centrally located, on the Wisconsin side just across the River from the lovely Winona (which was pretty booked up that week for some reason, I can only guess something was maybe happening at the college there).

This was a our motel, aptly named the Fountain Motel. Nestled in-between the bluffs and right across from the River, the views are pretty nice from any angle.

Doesn’t look like much from the outside, but wooooo boy – it’s a 1950s era motel that has been lovingly kept up, with about 14 rooms each with their own theme. I had originally booked the “Northwoods Room” (complete with a Christmas tree and winter-time decor) but we ended up with the “Gone Fishin'” room, which was just as weird.

After settling in, we went out in search of some dinner. We ended up at The Monarch Public House. It’s an Irish Pub and has been in business since 1894, making it the oldest continuously serving establishment in Wisconsin. It came highly recommended so we were excited to check it out. Also that green light was like, a vibe.

This place was exactly what you would envision the perfect Irish Tavern to be.

The ornate oak bar is original to the 1894 establishment(!).

Every table had Trivial Pursuit cards on the table, so it kept us entertained before the food arrived.

I didn’t get any pictures of the food, sorry. But I’m sure you can judge by the empty plates that it was all good stuff.

These little towns tuck in early, so post-dinner we just headed back to the motel to relax for the evening. I also took some time to get some pictures of this decor.

My only complaint: this dude hung over my head when I was in bed for the night. His teefers can be… a lot, when you’re staring off just trying to fall asleep.

Bright n’ early we piled in the car and headed across the river to start some adventures! Our aim for today was to cross over to Winona, drive up the Minnesota side, allll the way up to Red Wing, then cross back to Wisconsin and head back down to Fountain City. With plenty of stops along the way, of course.

First stop was Bloedow’s! Another highly recommended stop for their bread and donuts. We aren’t going to say “no” to a donut recommendation, obviously. And they were indeed quite good! Classic northern bakery.

After breakfast we hit the road again. Next stop: LARK Toys.

LARK Toys does not disappoint. I read up about it online, and discovered that it was massive – not only a hug, multi-room toy store, but includes a workshop, a mini-golf course, a bookstore, and “memory lane” (essentially an antique toy museum). It also houses a full-size carousel and a café. Oh, and there’s a gift shop and an ice cream/candy shop and a barnful of motherfucking real actual live llamas.

Anyway, even after researching online, I was blown away when we actually got there. This place really truly is on another level and if you ever have the time to stop, I really recommend you do.

Here’s a peek into the workshop; they handcraft wooden toys and they are gorgeous. Our kids are kinda past that age but I’m still mad at myself for not just getting some for future baby/kiddo gifts.

They also handmade all of the animals on the carousel, plus a few extras on display (like this moose with Moose).

The carousel is so, so beautiful. I took a million pictures but am just going to share a few. The details were amazing and I loved the stories behind each piece.

We ended our time here with a round of mini golf.

Then up to Red Wing!

Stopped for lunch first. Admittedly: not sure where to go, ended up at an unpretentious bar-n-grill type place called Kelly’s Tap House. There’s a lot of this type of restaurant in Red Wing and they all were well rated so we just kinda threw a dart at the map. Food was good! Staff was super nice! Loved the kiddie cup art! No complaints.

Next order of business was to take a walk around downtown to see what was up. Red Wing was named for an early 19th century Sioux chief. The white settlers that came in were primarily Scandinavian (with a high concentration of Swedes), and grew both hard and soft wheat. At one point, the Red Wing area produced more flour than any other area in the entire United States (we also learned on this trip that this entire MN/WI area along the Mississippi is still known for their flour production). From the mid-1800s to 2019, it was also famous for its pottery, and there is a museum here dedicated to it. It’s also famously known for Red Wing Shoes.

There is a massive bluff that distinguishes the town, which is really saying something in an area that is hilly and surrounded by tall bluffs.

Of course we had to visit the Red Wing headquarters. In addition to the giant work boot, there’s a small museum and a discount shop.

Back on the streets, looking for Hanisch Bakery.

Aaaaaand, we found it. As promised from all the reviews of this Swedish bakery: great treats, great bread. It’s been voted the best bakery in the entire state of Minnesota several years running.

I got a loaf of their Limpa, a perfect example of that Swedish soft rye with a hint of orange flavor. It went straight to the freezer when we got home and it’s Linus’ favorite bread of our freezer stash*.

*Listen, maybe I’m a weirdo, but one thing I do when we travel and stop at a great bakery is get a nice loaf of their signature bread. I get it pre-sliced when I can, or if not I slice myself as soon as we get home, then I lovingly wrap it and it goes right into the big freezer. Boom, we have fantastic bread any time, and a nice souvenir of a trip to boot. And I know they always recommend 3 months in the freezer, blah blah blah, but in reality: that shit will usually keep for at least a year.

Next we tried to hit up the American Ski Jumping Museum and Hall of Fame, but aint that the luck: it was closed for the day. Next trip, I guess. Fun fact! Red Wing is the birthplace of American ski jumping.

We spent a good chunk o’ change at the Uff-da Store (full of all kinds of Scandinavian treats and goods; real talk how am I not Scandinavian I love the entire culture). Then we headed to the Wisconsin side for the trip back down.

We planned a few stops but both were closed for the day already (wah!) so we mostly took our time Sunday-driving back to the motel.

And we’re back!

Chilled for a bit, then headed back out on a hunt for dinner. this time, we went across the river to see what Winona had to offer. Enter: Bub’s (pronounced “Boobs”. Heh.)

There was a bit of a wait for food because of staff shortage, but that was okay to us. This place was a VIBE. Dark and full of chatter, and the drinks were nice and cold.

Scottie got a taco salad and I’ve never seen one actually shaped like a taco in my life, but here we are.

We were here for almost 3 hours but at the end of the day? Totally worth it. Such a chill place. Wish I bought a sweatshirt in the end only because I could always tell people it’s not Bub’s it’s BOOBS.

Back to the motel, then before we knew it, it was check-out and time to go.

We really loved this place. Super clean, super nice staff, locally owned forever, local soaps/products in the bathroom, all the good stuff. We probably won’t be back for a few years at least but I’m totally booking this spot again.

Back to Winona! What a kooky, kitschy town. 100% Winona Ryder vibes. I want to live here.

First stop: coffee! Moose and I hopped out of the car (Scottie and Pete were too mentally incapacitated without their coffee yet) and picked up some coffee for the entire car.

This place was super cute. Baked goods looked good too, but we were just there for the coffee today, baby.

I hope they found Mr. White Cat.

We held strong against the coffeeshop treats because we wanted another Bloedow’s breakfast. No regrets.

Post-breakfast: time for a new adventure.

Cue: Minnesota Marine Art Museum.

Loved this museum. I’ll be honest: when I first heard about this place, I was read that they had “works by Pablo Picasso, Marc Chagall, Edgar Degas, Vincent van Gogh, Paul Cézanne, and Paul Gauguin”. But hey guess what… That was actually a special exhibit that ended a mere 5 days before our visit. WOMP WOMP.

But you know, that’s okay. We got in there and paid our fees and were given scavenger hunts for the kids and we were so involved in the hunt and the gorgeous paintings that we forgot all about it.

I would like to note: we forgot about the famous painters until we saw a “feedback wall” near the end and some Boomer wrote WE WERE PROMISED PICASSO AND VAN GOGH BUT I GUESS THEY JUST LIE TO GET YOU IN THE DOOR and I was instantly irritated.

Would it have been cool to see? Sure. But if you walk through this fantastic museum and all you can say at the end is that you were pissed you can’t brag that you saw a Van Gogh to your friends, well. That speaks to your character, dude.

Ugh. Anyway, it was lovely in there but time to move on.

Next up: you may have heard of House on the Rock, but have you heard or Rock in the House? Welp, do I have a story for you…

In the mid 1990s, a rock rolled down off one of the bluffs and slammed into this house in Fountain City. Thankfully no one was hurt, but the home was a complete loss. A local real estate agent bought the house, and left it in the current state for curious folk like us to come over and take a peek.

Next stop: Buena Vista Park. I had read it was a great view of the river, but from the parking area it didn’t look too exciting.

Until we walked a little closer…

Wow, yeah. Talk about hidden gem.

After appreciating the view for a spell, we found the boys in a typical embrace and forced them into the car for one last adventure.

Guess What Was Open That Day…

You guys, there is an Ancient Arms and Armory Museum tucked in one of these tiny towns. The Castlerock Museum houses hundreds of rare and authentic examples of arms and armor from the days of Rome through the Dark Ages, the Vikings, and Crusades. There are some BONKERS things in there I cannot believe people wore this stuff.

Also: Henry VIII’s gun shield??

These were by far my favorite knight helmets.

Now generally, my biggest nightmare in a museum is when a docent wanders up and won’t stop talking. I’m a “take it all in at my own pace” kinda lady. But when this guy happened upon us, I have to admit it was worth the anxiety of this hermit making small talk with a stranger because he was very informative AND BEST OF ALL: he dressed Pete in the full battle armor of an ancient Knight, and let him goof around with a real 800-year-old authentic sword, and hold a lance.

He really did a good job of explaining how battles went back then.

This looks like a torture device but it’s actually protection for the dog, from the wild boars they were hunting.

This is definitely another awesome museum that cannot be missed if you ever head this way.

It was getting later in the day and we needed to make the 3-hour trek back to Madison, so we decided to grab some lunch and say our good-byes to Winona before heading out.

Winona happened to be hosting a downtown trick-or-treat that was just winding down when we arrived. This was a total win because we not only got to see lots of cute kids in costumes roaming about, but also the restaurant we hit up for lunch had a bunch of candy leftover so they let the boys grab handfuls from the bucket on the way in. Score.

Friends, I cannot even remember what this place was called. But it was nice to have a moment to relax before the long drive back to reality.

One final (final) stop for a photoshoot: the Winona sign.

This was a fun little trip and we barely scratched the surface on all the weird and wonderful things to do in this area. We’ll definitely be back.

(PS the picture below is Sugar Loaf, the defining symbol of Winona. That we didn’t even bother checking out, but that’s for next time I guess.)

TOODLES FOR NOW THIS IS PROBABLY MY LAST POST BEFORE I’M UP IN DOOR COUNTY CHILLING IN THE LAKE SIPPING A CHERRY CIDER. GOD BLESS.