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Good days and bad days, high-energy days and low-energy days
Everyone gets good days and bad days, happy days and sad days, chill days and angry days. For me, I get high-energy days and low-energy days. To be honest, I’m not someone who’s “in touch” with their emotions. My best friend laughs about this all the time, because easily, in response to the question “How are you?” I can honestly answer “I have no idea.”
Maybe I’m a sociopath. Who knows.
I do know this, though: my “good” and “bad” days depend on my energy level. On the whole, I’m what you may call a low-energy person. I prefer staying in; in fact, I build my room so that it’s the perfect secret cozy little cave: more books than real estate can afford, several musical instruments, a carefully-set up sound system, and stuffies to hug when I [rarely] feel lonely.
I typically study/read/play/chill, and wallow in my personal insanity altogether.
When I’m lucky, I get a High-Energy Day. Most of the time, however, I’m in a Low-Energy Day.
Low-Energy Days are characterized by a lack of willpower getting up in the morning. (Scratch that – that’s every day; I’m not a morning person). An overwhelming cloud of lethargy hangs and permeates the entire Low-Energy Day. After dinner, it usually starts dissipating, but by then the day’s coming to a close anyway so it’s not much use.
On Low-Energy Days, I don’t want to stand up while riding the bus even when the ride’s just two stops. On Low-Energy Days, I barely mumble to anyone and even smalltalk feels like a horrendous public-speaking torture exercise. On Low-Energy Days, I look around and the cluttered mess on my desk (and in my head) pains me physically. Yet, I’m inclined to just sit in my chair in a worthless stupor unmotivated to do even the simplest task.
Reading a novel written by E. L. James seems out of my intellectual fitness level. Heck, even reading BuzzFeed is too much work.
But on High-Energy Days, there’s a spring in my step, for lack of a better cliche. At work or school, talking to people – initiating a conversation – is actually enjoyable. And I can’t help babbling on and on, even to the point of clearly losing the other party’s interest. On High-Energy Days, I’m constantly bombarded by ideas. Ideas seem to come through my door without knocking. They pull up a chair at my table and demand me to serve them a drink. And oh, how they look so fine in their top hats and dress coats! Whereas on Low-Energy Days, I wait for hours on end at my door for thoughts to stroll in, and the few that do have bags under their eyes and can barely murmur their names…
Reusing this photo from a previous post. I wish I could be at this place, literally and figuratively, all the time…
On High-Energy Days, I take out my guitar and blow the dust off its frets. I play and I sing and the sound that comes out of my mouth actually sounds sort of good. And sometimes I even learn a new song.
On High-Energy Days, my head is alert, my mind is clear, and my eyes see colour. The world is beautiful, and I just want to be in it more…and I start to hate the day I won’t.
Like I said, I don’t get many HEDs, so when I do, I milk ’em for all they’re worth. I take out my notebooks. I write down as many things as I can. I sing ’til I’m hoarse and play ’til my wrist aches. I stay up and do stuff. I might even do something practical, like clean my effing room.
Do you get good days and bad days, high-energy days and low-energy days? What do you do to make your good days worth it and what do you do to slough through your bad days?
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