Friday Frightmare Takeover: The Halloween Franchise

Tis the season! Today, as we march towards my favorite holiday, I’m going over my ranking of the Halloween franchise! I’ll be including every film, including the Rob Zombie flicks, starting with the worst of the series heading towards the (quite predictable) best. The whole idea came about as, a few weeks ago, I did a Tiermaker list of my rankings and realized just how long it’s been since I’ve watched most of these! But first, the briefest of introductions to the series!

Introduction

Many people know who Michael Myers is, even if they haven’t watched the films. He’s the killer with the white mask (an altered mask of William Shatner in fact) who murders people on Halloween. But there are a few things you might not know. First off, let me start with a general criticism of the franchise- it does no favors for the mentally ill. Mental illness in these films is treated with real fear, and Michael in particular is often referred to as “it” and simply “the evil.” This unfortunately is a pattern in film and the horror genre in particular. It’s not something that ruins these films, but it still needs to be addressed. All criticism is valid! But a few things you may not know. First off, Michael Myers is portrayed as such an inhuman killing machine, in the credits he is often referred to as “The Shape.” The other thing you may not be aware of is that one of these films (Halloween III) has NO MICHAEL MYERS (except on TV) whatsoever is not in canon with any other film, but rather exists in a universe where Halloween is the film we all know and love. Finally, there are multiple timelines/continuities outside of the third installment, which is its own timeline. These are the Myers timelines established in the films in order of their existence. Myers Timeline with Laurie and Jamie– This is the original timeline before H20‘s reset. The main feature here is that Laurie Strode (the final girl from the first film played by Jamie Lee Curtis) and Michael Myers are siblings, and Laurie had a daughter, Jamie, before somehow perishing while her daughter was a young child. Oh yeah and there’s a cult that actually responsible for Michael’s actions (this one gets weird). (contains the first film and parts 2, 4, 5, and 6)

Myers Timeline with Laurie(sister)– Technically Laurie has a son in this timeline, but he’s not the main character in any sequel. Laurie is alive longer, faking her death, changing her name, and lives a (fairly) successful life with her son. She does not have a daughter, and Michael has remained mostly dormant until the Halloween Laurie’s son turns 17. Laurie is killed a few years after this attack by Michael after a brief showdown at an institution where Laurie is living. (contains the first film and part II, H20, and Resurrection) Rob Zombie’s Timeline– This one’s easy! This is the timeline for Rob Zombie’s two installments which exist in their own universe. Laurie’s Timeline with Michael– This is the new continuity fresh off the 2018 film. It’s a bit weird for the sequel to Halloween to be called Halloween but the timeline is straightforward. Only the first attack in 1978 and, importantly, that attack STOPPED at Laurie’s house and did not continue to the hospital. Instead Michael was captured. This means no brother/sister reveal. They had no connection. In 2018, Michael escapes and comes home again. That’s all we have until Halloween Kills and Halloween Ends are released, ending this new trilogy. (contains Halloween (1978 and 2018))

I’m so excited to talk about this franchise. I did an interesting watch order that I actually recommend (if you wanna do a retrospective like I did). I watched the entirety of the second timeline to just get the Laurie Strode’s longest story (at this point), then I watched the 2018 installment. Next I popped in the Rob Zombie flicks to get Laurie’s story, this time told in the remake continuity. I moved onto to parts 4, 5, and 6 to complete the Jamie Lloyd saga. I capped it all off with Halloween III, a real breath of fresh air after all the slasher goodness. I’m a huge fan of this holiday and horror in general. Before I loved BBQ or comic books or giant monsters, I loved horror, and the saga of Michael Myers was always among my favorites of the genre. So turn down the lights and lock your doors because the Boogeyman is real, and we need to talk about the NIGHT HE CAME HOME!

Ranking

11. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers- After the fifth installment of the franchise introduced the Man in Black and the mysterious rune symbol to the mythos, it was up to this film to answer these lingering mysteries. Structurally speaking, we do not need any answers to why Myers does what he does. It peels back the curtain too far and ruins the mystique of the character. In short, it makes him less scary. It is doubly bad when that reveal is nonsensical and relegates Myers to a mere enforcer role- a tool for an ancient cult to carry out an ancient ritual regarding familial sacrifice. Granted Myers inexplicably murders the cult members, but that is the essential set up. It was neat to carry on the story of Jamie Lloyd (recast for this film) from the previous two entries, and Paul Rudd playing the boy Laurie Strode babysat on that fateful night in the first film has potential. Unfortunately the former is killed (fairly violently) and the latter is just not as engaging as the premise of his character. Dr. Loomis is not quite as insane as he was in the fifth film, but as a send-off for the character, this is quite a disservice, especially as it is implied he dies off screen at the very end. It should be noted that the Producer’s Cut- now available- is more coherent and contains a slightly better telling of the story. However, it also features more of the rubbish cult, an incest reveal, and Myers being defeated runes. Loomis ends the film as the reluctant leader of the cult, which is STILL fairly vague in terms of motivation. Myers has a few menacing scenes, and it’s nice to see that he’s behaving a bit more like Michael than Jason (SEE: my notes on part 4 and 5), but in the end, there really aren’t very many positives I can find with this one. Regarding the original timeline, it’s hard to ignore the damage it did to not only the two films with Jamie, but the entire Myers saga leading up to that point. SCORE- 3.5/10.

10. Halloween Resurrection: If The Curse of Michael Myers did irreparable harm to the original timeline, it’s safe to say Resurrection killed the timeline established with H20. After a fantastic return to form in THAT film, and a cathartic moment for our original final girl, Laurie, Resurrection immediately retcons that film’s ending (it turns out Laurie killed someone Michael stuffed into his mask) and kills Laurie within the first 20 minutes of the movie. Apparently this sequence was filmed as a requirement to including the beheading of Michael from H20, but it’s actually IN Resurrection, so that’s the film I must judge. The rest of the plot follows our new lead characters as they are recruited by an internet entertainment company to wear cameras and explore the Myers house. Of course, Michael Myers shows up and starts killing everyone. Oh yeah and Busta Rhymes has a martial arts style showdown with Michael. When the strongest part of the film is the somewhat disrespectful murder of your former main character, you know there’s a problem. But for me, after Jamie Lee Curtis (playing Laurie) exits the film, the whole thing is downhill, with bland-to-just plain awful characters waiting to be killed. There’s some early 2000s sexual harassment played as comedy and awful cameras/internet streaming video sites for the worst kind of nostalgia. That said, the idea that Laurie is haunted by killing the wrong person certainly has potential, but it’s all wasted since she’s murdered so early (not unlike Jamie in The Curse of Michael Myers). This life shattering mistake she made plays into her demise, but we still get to see her outsmart her brother one last time, making the opening at least somewhat engaging. However, Michael’s victory is meaningless as he just simply goes back home and kills some more. This is a slasher movie without a real identity, no distinct direction, and an awful script. There is some surface level commentary regarding reality TV and voyeurism, but I can’t give the film credit for just bringing these ideas up. How this film shares the same director as the original Halloween II is beyond me. At least it doesn’t completely shatter the mystery of its character, instead feeding the characters bogus clues to his familial origins before revealing the narrative is all for show. SCORE- 4/10

9. Halloween (2007)- I remember not liking this one very much when it came out, but upon rewatch it stands out as one of the worst of the franchise. I don’t inherently dislike the idea of going for a deep dive into Michael’s life, although (again) it takes away from the mystique of the character. However, this IS a reboot, so trying new things is certainly welcome. The problem is that his broken home origin story and slow descent into silent killer don’t add anything and, while shown, and neither are really explained properly. There’s some lip service to the effect that of Michael’s home life creating a perfect storm interacting with his already damaged psyche resulting in a killing machine, but if you want to spend a pretty significant portion of your screen time to THAT story, you should probably develop it better. This is probably still the most interesting part of the film, as once Michael breaks out and returns home, the film devolves into a pretty repetitive and fetishticly violent retelling of the original film. The part Zombie includes from the rest of the franchise, however, is Michael’s familial connection to Laurie. This becomes much more important to the follow-up, so I’ll just move on. There are some positives here- The mask is well designed and frightening, Malcolm McDowell is pretty good as Dr. Loomis, and honestly most of the main cast is pretty good in general. Genre legend Brad Dourif is especially engaging as Sheriff Brackett, the father of Laurie’s best friend. That friend is ALSO played well by franchise returnee Danielle Harris (who originally played Jamie Lloyd in parts 4 and 5 of the original franchise). Scout Taylor-Compton plays a sympathetic lead with big shoes to fill, giving Laurie Strode an innocent quality, at least through the lens of director Rob Zombie. And it is that lens which constantly lets the film down. Whether it’s bizarre, sexually charged dialogue between friends played out in front of children, a completely out of nowhere rape scene leading to Michael’s escape (in the director’s cut), or even Laurie making lewd gestures with a bagel in front of her adoptive mother, everything feels so detached from the grim reality it feels Zombie is trying to ground his horror film in. As another positive, the homemade paper-mache masks Michael makes are pretty cool, a great choice by the set design department. Laurie’s journey to final girl ready to kill her attacker is brutal, but handled well all things considered. It’s just difficult to enjoy the nuggets of positivity when it’s buried under the garbage Zombie feels the need to pile on top of his film. Between the dialogue, the sexually charged violence, and the underdeveloped story, this is a film which fails in so many areas, and is fairly unpleasant to watch, though it is not totally devoid of merit. SCORE- 5/10

8. Halloween II (2009)- Zombie’s follow-up to his previous entry has many of the same problems, so this will be much easier to talk about. These negatives are compounded by a fake-out dream sequence involving Myers tracking down Laurie at the local hospital- essentially a retelling of the original follow-up. I don’t mind the film taking a different path, but sacrificing 20 minutes for fake-out is just plain wasteful. It also leaves audiences confused- how DID Michael live and escape if not via the method shown in the apparent fake dream? There’s also almost incoherent dream/hallucination sequences (with Michael’s mom and a white horse) which are important to the family theme of the movie that Michael has, and Laurie later somehow shares. This aspect isn’t wholly original, and this connection was explored in parts 4 and 5, making the whole theme feel particularly rehashed. Although one dream sequence has some visual flair (those pumpkin heads looked cool!) that I found to be interesting, the rest is fairly bland So why is it better than Zombie’s first foray into the franchise? It’s simple- when the film slows down and focuses on the trauma felt by Laurie, her best friend Annie, Annie’s father, and Loomis, it manages to be more engaging than the previous entry. Watching Loomis become a self-serving asshat exploiting tragedy is a fun diversion from the violence on screen. Danielle Harris and Brad Dourif in particular are fantastic in their roles, and when Annie does die, both Dourif and Scout Taylor-Compton react in a truly heartbreaking way. I did not expect myself to be that emotionally affected by a death in a Rob Zombie direct slasher, but here I am. The ending, in both the unrated and theatrical releases, essentially reveal that the trauma and sibling connection between Michael and Laurie have caused her to embrace the legacy of Michael and succumb to the murderous rage. It’s divisive to be sure, yet I cannot help but feel under a different director, the themes attempted here could have been executed much better, and we would have had a good movie rather than a poor one with better intentions than the previous film. SCORE- 5.5/10

7. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers- We are OFFICIALLY out of the bad entries of the franchise! Is this one good? Well… I would say it’s okay. Danielle Harris is still great as Jamie Lloyd, and she handles her character’s inability to talk in the first 2/3rds of the film well, using some fantastic face acting skills. Having the climax in the Myers house is also a good idea, in an attempt to give the series some sense of closure. The mask is also a bit more scary this time, and the film features some good fake-out scares along with some genuine menace from our killer. However, this film also introduces the Man in Black, unrevealed throughout the entire film (except for the lower half of his body as he walks around town) until he fires on the police precinct and frees Michael. This cliffhanger of Michael’s escape and the unresolved answer to the Man in Black’s role (along with the rune on his and Michael’s wrists) understandably leave a sour taste in the mouths of fans. This film also continues my least favorite element of its immediate predecessor- what I call the Jason-ification of Michael Myers. Simply put, Michael’s kills were always fairly simple, while Jason loves to use a multitude of weapons to creatively kill his victims. This characterization is not quite as prevalent here, but still noticeable. Donald Pleasence plays Dr. Loomis impeccably as always, but the character is written more unhinged than ever before seemingly willing to sacrifice a child to defeat Michael Myers. Jamie’s psychic connection with Michael is certainly an element fans may scoff at, as is the retconning of Jamie seemingly killing her foster mother at the end of Part 4, as it is revealed the foster mother survived the attack. It also opens with something of a retcon of the ending of part 4 showing Michael escape into a river, being inexplicably rescued and cared for before murdering his rescuer a year later While the new teens aren’t all that interesting, Jamie’s connection to the new (semi) lead Tina and her reaction to her foster sister’s death keep me engaged throughout. The ending and mythos-adding elements are still the weakest part as it bogs down the film which, once these parts are in fact removed, is pretty standard slasher fun. SCORE- 6.2/10

6. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers- The first truly good film on the list, this is a nostalgic favorite for a lot fans, including myself. Introducing fan-favorite Jamie Lloyd (played strikingly well by then newcomer Danielle Harris)- the daughter of (unexplainedly dead) Laurie Strode from the first two films- and reintroducing Michael Myers back into the franchise after taking a break from his story, The Return of Michael Myers also manages to capture the Halloween spirit better than most of the films in the franchise. The opening credits with the fall rural aesthetic beset by Halloween decorations is a personal favorite of mine. The mask may look dopey, but The Shape is back! While we know whom Michael will eventually be targeting, his methods remain as unpredictable as ever, and with his massacring of the police station (off screen), he is perhaps the most unstoppable he has ever been. Again, his kills are a bit more elaborate this time around, straight up stabbing someone with a GUN and this takes away a bit from the character. However, between the opening credits and the significant portion of the film taking on an almost haunted house feel, there is so much more that works here. The movie wastes no time retconning the end of the second film, stating simply that both Loomis and Myers survived (still not sure how). Myers wakes up ten years after his rampage to finish his family off, and in the end is gunned down by several of the citizens and police of Haddonfield, IL. The movie is much simpler than its follow up to its credit. Perhaps the best part is the finale as Jamie fulfills her family’s legacy by taking a pair of scissors and attacking her stepmother in a clown costume mirroring, but not simply copying, what her uncle did to his older sister in the opening minutes of the very first film. Loomis shouting “NO” over and over again really sells the tragedy here. There is a disturbing question of whether this is simply destiny for the family or a product of the trauma Jamie has gone through. Unfortunately this question is totally ignored in the follow-up in favor of a psychic connection. There is also a real lack of suspense and a sense of “been there done that” with the overall story. Nothing new is really accomplished, but while it fails to reach the heights of several other entries, it’s a solid and fun slasher perfect for the Halloween season. SCORE- 7.4/10

5. Halloween (2018). For many, this reboot/sequel fixes the wrongs made by the other films- mainly making Laurie and Michael siblings- and establishes itself as a “true” sequel to the original films. The opening credits signify this, returning the rotted jack-o’-lantern to its original state, seemingly (and figuratively) reversing time all the way the back to the first installment. However, in many ways it simply retreads all that came before it without offering much new. Jamie Lee Curtis is back, again, and this time Laurie is something of a doomsday prepper, training her daughter and preparing for the day Michael Myers returns. Myers does and sets upon Haddonfield once again, his intended victims potentially include Laurie’s adult daughter and teenaged granddaughter. The finale, particularly with Judy Greer- playing Laurie’s daughter- fooling Michael into believing she is just another tearful fearful victim only to calmly shoot him is easily the best part. As soon as the shot is fired, Laurie appears behind Michael, revealing that she was hiding and waiting before stabbing him, trapping him in her underground cellar rigged specifically to trap Michael, and setting fire to the whole house. It’s good stuff, but with two sequels on the way we know this is not Michael’s true end. Michael tracking down the podcasters who have his mask is perhaps the most terrifying part of the movie, as he stalks a woman on the toilet and drops the bloody teeth of a recent victim. Michael’s short rampage on Halloween is not bad, but it feels super rushed and a cheap way to goose up the body count. It does illustrate that Michael feels free to walk around and kill whomever he decides to kill, but there are better ways to show this. Additionally there is some humor that feels disjointed and unnecessary, and an evil doctor subplot that feels SO out of place. It is so strange to imply the escape may have been orchestrated by this doctor and to have such a new and weird character be so instrumental to the plot just to kill him off. Still, this film gets more right than wrong, and Curtis once again gets to prove just how good of actress she truly is. Sadly, the franchise has given me the lingering fear that subsequent movies will retcon or undo elements from the previous installment. A good installment, but overhyped and bit sloppy in some sequences. Oh and the name for the new direct sequel being the exact name of the original is super awkward. SCORE- 7.5/10

4. Halloween III: Season of the Witch- Season of the Witch was to be the first Halloween film to set the premise of the franchise as an anthology of films, each telling a different story about the beloved holiday. The opening credits featuring orange digital lines emerging to the tune of the banging score by John Carpenter set the tone for a fun Halloween mystery about masks, a fairly creepy town, and an evil company with a diabolical plan. Sure the lead is a misogynist who harasses his colleague, but his kids bring out the concerned citizen hiding deep within at the end. The mystery plot begins with a murder in a hospital and continues with the victim’s daughter and doctor investigating just what led to the grisly crime. They quickly discover a company famous for making novelties, including a set of three popular Halloween masks (and a heck of a jingle on TV to sell the masks), is planning on using those masks to play a trick on the kids of the world. The trick is.. uh.. murder. BUT there are allusions to ancient Pagans and their celebration of Halloween involving sacrifices, so there is some kind lip service given to motivation. It’s honestly just a blast to watch our leads come across automated robot (toy?!) body guards and hitmen on their way to trying to thwart the bad guy. The daughter is (somehow at some time) replaced by one of these robots, and in the end, our lead appears to fail to stop the deadly advertisement from being broadcast triggering the masks to murder their wearers. I wish there could have been more Halloween aesthetic and a more sympathetic lead. It also feels the creepy town is a bit wasted given the set-up of a town potentially controlled by the evil company head. Still, the practical effects are great, the deaths are gruesome (without being needlessly violent) with bugs and snakes being thrown in for good measure. There really is nothing out there quite like Halloween III. SCORE 8.2/10

3. Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later- Let’s get one things out of the way- this is a dumb title. As a follow-up to Halloween II though, it’s a fantastic exploration of what that trauma would do to someone. Instead of a paranoid mess who can barely hold it together (like in the recent 2018 film), Laurie Strode is a functioning alcoholic and headmistress of a school. She has nightmares and can be a bit of a helicopter parent, and Halloween is a big trigger for her, but she’s getting by, and she has tried not to let that horrible night define her. Laurie’s son, played by then unheard of Josh Hartnett, has turned 17, the same age Laurie was when Michael attacked her, and Michael returns to find his nephew and his mother on this fateful night. There are a few gripes- there’s a random shot of a CGI mask, there’s a LOT of shots of the eyes of Michael Myers, too many fake-out jump scares, and LL Cool J cameos as part of his weird pattern of bit parts in horror films where he almost dies, but miraculously survives anyways. There’s a bevy of future stars including Michelle Williams and Joseph Gordon Levitt, but the real attraction is the build up to the reunion between brother and sister. The moment where Laurie lets her son and his girlfriend escape while she returns to hunt her brother is a great moment for the character as we SEE the turning point from prey to predator. The showdown is effective and well-choreographed, and my favorite part is easily afterwards, when it seems the movie is going to end with Michael simply being wheeled out in a body bag only to surely return again. Instead, Laurie hijacks the van, Michael wakes up, and they crash. Michael, now pinned against a tree, reaches out to his sister, who reaches back before decapitating Michael with an axe in one of my favorite moments of the franchise. Granted, again, that moment is immediately undone by the next film, but in this one, it still works. Is H20 better than the 2018 film? It’s close, but H20 is tighter, leaner, and more well paced. It’s not concerned with large body count (Michael even lets a mother and daughter he finds in a bathroom live while he steals their car), but instead simply wants to continue Laurie’s story without the goofy evil doctor or stuffed cast. Its strength is in its simplicity. SCORE- 8.8/10

2. Halloween II- My favorite sequel in the series, when I was a young lad, this was the film in the franchise that scared me the most. Michael Myers truly became The Shape here, so unrelenting in his pursuit of Laurie Strode, and damn near unstoppable in his path of destruction. Again, there is a simple approach continued here that really stands out as a strength of these earlier Myers films (and later H20). Picking mere seconds after the first film ends, Halloween II is less a sequel and more continuation of the previous installment, following Laurie to the hospital and containing much of the action to that setting. Yes it is here that we are told that Laurie is Michael’s sister, apparently concocted by John Carpenter to try and explain Michael’s obsession with the girl. It may rob the true horror of being stalked by a complete stranger, unconnected to your life, and thus eliminates Michael Myers as the Boogeyman figure of nightmares. However, this twist is built upon well enough in (SOME) of the subsequent films, that its place in canon, for me, is not as divisive as it is for others. This one’s a bit more violent, and while not AS suspenseful as the first film, there is a real sense of dread as Michael comes closer and closer to Laurie who is simply exhausted from the previous attack. This means Laurie doesn’t get nearly as much play as I would like, but in a way, this is the Dr. Loomis show. Loomis manages to hunt down his white whale, a pursuit which appropriately leads to his own demise (until the 4th film and seemingly even H20 which implies Loomis survived). The kills here are bit more elaborate, but they are still simple (burning, stabbing etc) with the weird exception of the nurse found being drained of her blood. Still, there are few images from the series as striking as Michael walking out of the fire and collapsing while his mask burns away, killing the seemingly unkillable Shape (again until the 4th and/or 7th film). Watching the first two movies back-to-back is always a fun time, and with the shorter run times, the two-part experience is shorter than your average Lord of the Rings extended cut film. What better way to spend Halloween than spending a few hours watching the NIGHT HE CAME HOME? SCORE- 9/10

1. Halloween (1978)- I mean… it kinda had to be, right? This is still the best pure slasher ever made. Carpenter’s score, the iconic theme, the level of dread and suspense, casting of veteran actor Donald Pleasence, and star making performance by Jamie Lee Curtis all culminate in an absolute classic. The premise is simple. Michael Myers killed his older sister as a kid and has never spoken since. Fifteen years later, he escapes and returns to the town of Haddonfield to kill again, targeting unsuspecting teens all while being pursued by his psychologist, Dr. Loomis. The kills are simple, with Michael using a knife or his bare hands often to do the job, and the body count is actually pretty low. The Halloween holiday atmosphere is here, and there is a real unpredictability to Michael’s actions. The children being babysat, for example, escape with their lives, as does a child who runs into Michael while trick or treating. Their safety is never guaranteed, and Michael Myers feels like an inhuman Shape cutting through innocents to get to his next inexplicable target. That unexplained nature of his actions make Myers truly terrifying. Essentially this film is a classic, and basically perfect. If you haven’t watched it already, you should immediately rectify that now! If you have seen it already, it’s the perfect time to pop some popcorn (or fix other snacks), turn the lights off, and return to Halloween night, 1978, in Haddonfield, IL.SCORE- 10/10